36F 38m am I losing my mind ?
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Honestly I feel like I’ve been grieving this relationship while still living inside it. We used to be the couple everyone envied. Best friends. Easy love. The kind of relationship people would say they hoped to have someday. I genuinely thought I found my person.
But over time things slowly changed. Conversations became tense, problems got buried instead of worked through, and I slowly became quieter and smaller just trying to keep peace. I stopped feeling emotionally safe and started mourning the version of him I fell in love with while hoping he’d come back.
A lot of our fights eventually turned into him blaming my mental health for everything. After awhile you start questioning your own reality and wondering if you really are the problem or just reacting to years of hurt and tension.
Recently things escalated during an argument badly enough that I left to stay with family and now I can’t stop wondering if I’ve been trying to save something that’s already been gone for a long time.
I don’t even know if I’m asking for advice or just trying to admit out loud that this no longer feels like the relationship everyone thought it was.