Hi all,
Looking for some perspective from parents of teens, especially in small schools.
My son is in a very small year group. There’s a small group of boys who were very close in primary school and still tend to dominate the social side of things now. He used to be part of that group, but that’s changed over time. They’re friendly with him in school, but he’s not really included outside of it.
Because the year is so small and most friendships are already established, there’s very limited opportunity for him to form new ones. He gets on fine with people and seems well-liked, but he hasn’t really found his place socially and is a bit on the edges of things.
I’m particularly worried about the long summer ahead — there’ll likely be very little contact with peers for three months, and I think going back into the same dynamic in second year could feel harder again after that break.
We’ve considered a school move, but he doesn’t want that right now (and the alternatives come with their own issues), so for now we’re planning to let him try second year and reassess.
For context, he is a competitive swimmer and has a few friends there, but they don’t meet outside of training, and swimming is finishing in a few weeks, so that social outlet will also pause over the summer.
He’s an only child, though very well supported at home with a large extended family and close cousins, so he’s not isolated in that sense — it’s more the school social side that’s difficult.
I suppose I’m just wondering:
- Do situations like this tend to improve over time in small schools?
- Is it better to try and actively create social opportunities outside school, or leave it be?
- At what point would you consider a school change?
Would really appreciate hearing from anyone who’s been through something similar.