Hey Black Parade,
After I found her on the floor, cpr, cops pulling me off, numb, numb, pain, alcohol, that feeling of falling into a chasm. Don't even remember much but moments, dissociation for weeks. Then you finally land there in the hopeless abyss, shattered, crawling around in the dark. She passed away January 20th, and we were the love of each others' lives.
I gave up. Yeah, for sure I gave up. Nothing mattered anymore. It was all over. It wasn't out of some desire to stay alive that I reached out for help everywhere I could...it was just because I wanted less pain, until I finally made it to the point where I passed away and joined her.
Like you guys, probably, I was already a redditor. Found this place. Found every kind of perspective. And more crucially, I found some special folks posting here talking about having alcoholism, addiction, and mental health issues, all of which I have. I just left some comments in their threads, and then we started talking, and, even though we are all struggling, we aren't struggling alone anymore. Its so impactful to have several friends who text me and call me, we lighten each others days up.
I see stories of triumph, I hear the calls of that hard thud sound in the chasm, but. Its so good to know I'm not alone. We're in the same canyon trying to light a fire. So, we go sit by each other's fire now.
Sober today. Medical treatment today. Back to work. Financial situation improved. I feel her hand on my shoulder smiling.
Cheers. Thank you to everybody here.
If you have mental illness, and addiction, DM me, would love to be your friend.