i wouldnt wish this on my worst enemy
im 18 ive felt like this since sophomore year. i hate my body i hate my face i hate the way i constantly think about my appearance. i hate how i cant look my parents in the eye without feeling like a burden. they make sure i know that im loved and i know they love me and care for me. im in my room all day everyday. i pee in bottles so my family doesn't have to look at me. they found out. now all i can think about is every time they look at me they are disgusted with me. i hate how my hands shake when im forced to go outside for a dentist or doctor appointment. i hate how my mom notices and questions me about it. i hate how my mom tells me that my siblings cry because i dont talk to them. i have no connection with my family. they have never wronged me. i know they love me. i have no dreams in life. i have constant anxiety even in the comfort of my home. i eat terribly. i never eat fruit or vegetables. ive tried antidepressants. i dont like them because of the sexual side effects but am too embarrassed to tell my mom that. i would never kill myself. i dont have the courage to do that. i hate being perceived. i hate being looked at. im tired of feeling like this.