u/East-Fennel-4950

Okay so I got out of a heartbreaking break up not that long ago and I think a month or so after the fact this guy comes into my life as a mutual friend. I thought he was cute and was developing a crush but wasn’t ready for anything obviously because I was just broken up with. Now I would tell my friends “omg this guy is super cute” blah blah now he was a mutual friend so we had a group chat where we would all call and one of the calls consisted of his friend in the group telling me all the things he would say about me and how he likes me and I’m not gonna lie I liked it and didn’t a-pose. Now that’s where the guilt comes because we started texting more and it wasn’t super flirty but we both knew that we thought each other were cute. I was very honest and upfront about my break up and how I wasn’t ready for anything and maybe something down the road but very far from now and told him I wasn’t promising anything. I was very upfront about were he stood. But he would show up with flowers,snacks,drinks, etc and talk sweet to me and do everything I thought I would find in a fairytale I have never been treated so sweet. Which made me feel weak and I would give in by flirting back. So that lasted for a bit until one time we were hanging out and he started being flirty and I did back thinking it was harmless until one thing led to another and we were kissing and then that led to you know what.(I know I’m young please no judgement with this part) After the fact I felt so disgusted I felt like that was the worst thing I could’ve chose to do and freaked out and still am currently freaking out. I still like him somewhat but I told him I don’t because I feel so much regret doing that and I felt like I was drifting away from the type of person I was trying to be by being single like I wanted to work on myself and have all these goals but then I fucked a guy? Yeah I feel horrible but what makes it worse is that he’s gotten more obsessed with me and I don’t know what to do because I don’t want a relationship with someone I chose to do something like that with off the bat it just feels like it would be a very sexually oriented relationship down the long road. And I have my other reasons of why I don’t think we would be compatible. I don’t know I feel horrible I’m not the type to do that with someone and then leave them hanging I have communicated this to him and apologized but I still feel conflicted with myself like am I a shitty person? And I feel like I owe him a relationship now. Do I? What more could I do to move forward? Pls give advice (don’t be too rude abt anything guys💔) also it’s been like 4 months since my breakup and we didn’t do all that within a month after it was awhile after I met him