u/EastBayTrashPandas

I planted a native guerilla pollinator garden in a sidewalk cutout near my place - 10a for what it's worth. Both the milkweed and monarch caterpillars are going gangbuster, but the problem seems to be the fact that there's nowhere nearby for them to cocoon up - it's only sidewalk, street, and parked cars for many feet in any direction. I should have thought of this before I planted, but I didn't.

Is there a structure or device I can place in this garden that will attract monarch caterpillars in terms of forming their cocoons, like sort of a birdhouse type thing? I only have 22 square feet to work with, so it needs to be small.

Thank you!

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Many of you are familiar with our ongoing work to rid the Albany Marsh of trash. Indeed, a fair  number of you have been fantastic enough to help out - the swamp monsters send their tentacled thanks!

Much of the mess in this marsh appears to be coming from an extensive series of encampments located under the I-580/railroad and Cleveland/I-80/Pierce bridge complexes that span Cerrito Creek. CalTrans has an active ticket to clean these encampments up (#1042293), but I can't get them to respond as to when - or even if - they intend to do this work.

In my trashy experience, nothing motivates agencies to get shit done like high-def 4K public shaming, especially if local news picks it up - see this dump site. Towards that end, I'd like to document what it looks like under these bridges, but there's no way in hell I'm crawling under there - human and animal waste, leptosporosis, hantavirus, needles, displeased residents, vindictive leprechauns, etc.

Accordingly, I've come to this wretched cantina REI to find a drone pilot kayaker who's willing to fly paddle their rust bucket carbon canoe under both bridges to check it out - being on the water away from the filth seems safe enough. At high tide, the creek is at least 30' wide, with 10-20' of clearance under the bridges. Waivers will be signed!

I should stress that this is an entirely volunteer operation - the only pay I can offer is a firm handshake, solid feels, and all the Internet points you're able to farm. I should also stress that I'm unclear as to whether flying drones under highway bridges is strictly legal. That being said, letting tons of trash pollute this delicate ecosystem is definitely fucking not. Everything kayakers do is legal.

So. If you're up for risking your droid kayak for the common good, let me know here or via DM! I'm definitely open to more than one Han Solo - Han Plural? - in case one or more of you fail to make this Kessel Run in twelve parsecs. A pack - pod? - would be ideal!

For the rest of you cantina critters, mark your calendars for September 19th - I'll be hosting a cleanup from 9AM to noon in the Albany Marsh for Coastal Cleanup Day, and the swamp monsters would love to caress your calves with their tentacles while you work.

Thank you all for your help and/or snarky comments!

Many of you are familiar with our ongoing work to rid the Albany Marsh of trash. Indeed, a fair  number of you have been fantastic enough to help out - the swamp monsters send their tentacled thanks!

Much of the mess in this marsh appears to be coming from an extensive series of encampments located under the I-580/railroad and Cleveland/I-80/Pierce bridge complexes that span Cerrito Creek. CalTrans has an active ticket to clean these encampments up (#1042293), but I can't get them to respond as to when - or even if - they intend to do this work.

In my trashy experience, nothing motivates agencies to get shit done like high-def 4K public shaming, especially if local news picks it up - see this dump site. Towards that end, I'd like to document what it looks like under these bridges, but there's no way in hell I'm crawling under there - human and animal waste, leptosporosis, hantavirus, needles, displeased residents, vindictive leprechauns, etc.

Accordingly, I've come to this wretched cantina to find a drone pilot who's willing to fly their rust bucket under both bridges to capture video and stills. This will be a risky mission - the creek is maybe 30' wide at most, each bridge features 20' of low tide clearance max, and I have no idea what kind of Target shopping carts / clearly fake space worms will lurk in your flight path.

I should stress that this is an entirely volunteer operation - the only pay I can offer is a firm handshake, solid feels, and all the Internet points you're able to farm. I should also stress that I'm unclear as to whether this is strictly legal. That being said, letting tons of trash pollute this delicate ecosystem is definitely fucking not.

So. If you're up for risking your droid for the common good, let me know here or via DM! I'm definitely open to more than one Han Solo - Han Plural? - in case one or more of you fail to make this Kessel Run in twelve parsecs.

For the rest of you cantina critters, mark your calendars for September 19th - I'll be hosting a cleanup from 9AM to noon in the Albany Marsh for Coastal Cleanup Day, and the swamp monsters would love to caress your calves with their tentacles while you work.

Thank you all for your help and/or snarky comments!

We're going with kayaks.

I occasionally visit Abhayagiri, which is often as hot as my next rebirth, but being a monastery they discourage shorts. Can anyone recommend a nice pair of lightweight, high-quality men's meditation pants? I'd like something linen and loose, but not like MC Hammer loose. I'd also like something strong and well-made that can stand up to the frequent uncomfortable squirmings of my meditation practice.

Thanks!

Edit: I just found this ridiculousness, which doesn't fit the vibe I'm after but might make you laugh:

https://www.ajjaya.com/collections/mens-harem-pants

Sorry folks, but I'm cancelling today's cleanup - despite 25K+ views of my posts, no one RSVP'd to show up. I'll try again at some point in the future, have a great day!

A friendly reminder that our Albany Marsh trash cleanup is tomorrow (Sunday) from 11 AM to 1 PM - here's a link to the event posting!

Every additional volunteer makes a huge difference at these events - a single hard-working panda can clear years if not decades of trash out of these ecosystems. And the cleaner a site is, the more inspired everyone else feels to keep it that way!

The swamp creatures would love your help - if you're free, come flex those paws for the common good!

I'll be hosting another Albany Marsh trash cleanup on Sunday, and we'd love your help!

We'll meet along the Bay Trail at mouth of Cerrito Creek at 11 AM and work until 1 PM or so. Please feel free to come and go as you see fit!

Our meetup spot is only accessible by foot or bike, so park north at the Dog Park here or here or south at the Albany Bulb here - Albany doesn't enforce the two hour restriction on Sundays. Or just ride from home!

If you're a solid yes, please RSVP in the comments or via DM so I can get a rough headcount. If you do plan on coming, please wear or bring the following:

- Rain boots. Mud, needles, human waste, ticks, poison oak, snakey-poos, outlandishly dead marine life - this site makes Berkeley Bowl's probiotics fridge look tame.

- Long pants. See above - not an event for bare skin.

- Hiking gear. A sun hat, layers, water, and snacks.

- A trash grabber and work gloves, if you have them. If not, I can equip like 15 Pandas or so.

Several more things:

- Karma. I'd love to share the karma / Internet points from doing this work, but I'm uncertain how to pull that off. If you want or need more online exposure for your Reddit / IG / whatever account, let me know and we can figure it out!

- Strong people. We could use four or five strong folks to help drag a large waterlogged mattress out of the marsh. A great chance to test your gainz in the real world!

As with all of my events, you are entirely responsible for your own safety and welfare. Again, needles, human waste, ticks, poison oak, snakes, heavy stuff, gross stuff, travel to and from - cleanups can be risky affairs. By attending, you agree to bear that responsibility and any and all damages or liabilities you may incur. You also agree to be cool.

See you there then!

Just wanted to get it on everyone's sonar that I'll be hosting another trashy trash cleanup in the Albany Marsh on Sunday June 7th from 11 AM to 1 PM. Please note that this is two weeks from now - not this coming or the following weekend.

Many of you complain about not getting enough notice, and others complain about getting too much notice. In an effort to enrage everyone, you are hereby notified that I am starting the notice period now. Please take note.

Also, as indicated by the giant red arrow, a giant piece of flotsam recently washed ashore at the mouth of Cerrito Creek. It appears to be some sort of massive wooden spool. Anyone who needs an item like this for their post-industrial cat cafe is encouraged to attend.

Again, this event is two weeks from now. Don't show up this Sunday or the following unless you plan to ruin this event by cleaning up all the disgusting trash before us which would be terrible please don't do that.

I finally got around to setting up the entirely illicit and wholly bootleg Albany Marsh trash can and needle bucket shebang a goodly number of you were irresponsible enough to buy me. I don't know all of your names, but I do like the cuts of your jibs!

Now. Will this setup capture all the litter and needles at this site? No. Will it capture most of it, if we loosely construe the term? Yes. Like its red-headed stepchild up on Grizzly Peak, this can will agglomerate the trash. As I always say, agglomeration is 87% of the battle!

I also ogled the marsh in general. The site we cleaned last time is still pretty spotless, but the rest of the marsh could still use another cleanup or two. If you'd like to waste part of your precious weekend dragging trash out of a swamp for free, sign up on my website for the email announcements I've begrudgingly resolved to resume.

Finally, I'd like to remind everyone that all my shebangs are due to the fantastic example of the peerless u/pengweather, who serves as a model for how most humans should be. You are graciously invited to not wait for permission from someone like me to start a peng of your own. The world needs it!

Had an absolutely fantastic time volunteering for Sidewalk Trees & Gardens in Oakland today!

We planted 20 already-large street trees along this stretch of 81st near the Coliseum - in a few years these fast-growing planty plants will provide much-needed shade, cooling, and colorshapes that are good for our souls.

I can't recommend this organization enough - we all need more green! Follow them on Insta and sign up for future events if you're feeling inclined. Great work everyone!

Many of you know me from my exciting string of money-losing trash cleanups. Indeed, some of you have wasted hours of your life and suffered various indignities helping out.

What you may not know is that I am also a founder. My proven record of quixotic failures and itchy rashes has left me uniquely positioned to spot and actionate all manner of stupid ideas. Did he just make that word up? He did - thought leader.

Now. Here's the fetid swamp we cleaned up last time. I plan to install a trash can and needle bucket like the above banger at the site, with the whole shebang locked to the fence. Will it catch all of the trash? No. Will it catch most of the trash? Also no. Will catch some of the trash? Probably, until someone steals it or lights it on fire.

That being said, a lot of people are talking about this idea. It's hot. The VCs and angels got in on the ground floor with a trash can, needle bucket, and snarky sign - there's nothing I can do about that. What I can do is offer you the exclusive opportunity to complete what experts are saying is the most important project in recorded history with a cable and a lock and maybe a set of fancy-ass trash tongs if you're drunk and feeling generous:

https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/7NFGWFOT867O?ref_=wl_share

I'd take advantage of this offer myself but the laws of my country are very strict in terms of how princes can invest. If you do buy something, please post about it below so I don't end up with like 4,000 locks.

These returns are incalculable because there are none! Don't miss this opportunity to actionate idiocy!

A truly fantastic day cleaning a truly enormous amount of trash out of the Albany Marsh with Sophie, Elisa, Brendan, Sylvia, Scott, Tara, and Andy / u/pengweather! You guys all worked like famished pandas in a freshly-filled dumpster and are an absolute chocolate-covered hoot to work with - very well done!!!

One of the highlights of today's shebang was my attempts to use the honest-to-god mall ninja grappling hook one of you fantastic people was unwise enough to buy me. Grapple fever is a hard sickness to cure, but Peng's pending video of my abject failures to snag a floating mattress will likely do the trick. Still, we got that shopping cart - well done, Scott!

Our meetup site being the place to eat fast food, inject drugs, and lose at least one shoe, I'd like to lock a bootleg trash can and needle bucket to the nearby fence. I could also use another tranche of trash tons. If anyone's feeling generous, I've updated my Amazon Wishlist accordingly!

Finally, the only blemish on today's fantastic fiesta of filth was the fact that both Peng and I got $45 parking tickets! Mother of all that's holy, Albany. If anyone's willing to donate $90 $60 $35 now $5 to offset our collective sting, I'll gently encourage Peng to accept half. Here's a link to my Venmo!

Thank you so much everyone, very well done!

Edit 1: it took a bit of panda-wrangling, but Peng finally accepted reimbursement. Phew! A huge thank you to Amanda, Sophie, and Kevin for their fantastic generosity!