u/Eastern-Change-8067

I don't exactly know how to say this but does anyone else ever feel like they know when an episode is coming? I can tell because I've had frequent manic episodes for months now pretty much which I assume is the stress that I've been under. Everything has been going wrong for me and although I managed to stabilize for awhile I can tell. The sleep disturbances, I fell off my sleep schedule completely as I used to wake up everyday at 7 and these past 2 days I've slept in due to me being sleep deprived. I just feel different and it either is the lightest hypomanic episode I've had or it's gonna get a lot worse.

I am newly diagnosed and 18, I have told a few friends after they found a piece of paper containing some antipsychotics I was prescribed and recognized that they were antipsychotics. So I kinda outted myself there, and since then I've just been up front with my friends. That and also I have realized that while I am manic I tend to make jokes and say some pretty out of pocket stuff, not that being bipolar should excuse me to do/say anything but I am just new to managing it. I just wonder if I've made a mistake as I am not realizing that it is heavily stigmatized and people have treated me slightly differently. For example and to be honest I've had a pretty bad last few months and I've just been getting kicked down and down over and over again and I cannot talk to any of my friends about it. Their words being "I don't want you to emotionally rely on me" and other comments like "I have issues but it's not you bad." And I can't tell whether I should be offended or not, anywho I'm just wondering how open most people are or if I wasn't supposed to tell anyone and kept it to me and my absolute closest friends.