How do I stop being bratty?
Long story short, my boyfriend suggested going to the beach this morning, and since I’m manic right now, I immediately got excited. I work from home 5 days a week, and since I don’t have a car, my only times to go outside are planned events, surprise dates, or errands. The only sucky part is is that our roommate is sick. He didnt come with us outside yesterday and we had a ball, mainly because he gets miserable and anti social, and pretends everything’s cool. My boyfriend is so considerate that he feels bad, so he’s debating it now. My brain immediately went to “fuck him” because he chose not to go to urgent care and chooses not to take medicine without anyone reminding him. He has ADHD, so I understand most of his actions, but not that. He’s also 32. I know I’m being selfish and impulsive. It’s not like this is the last time the sun is going to be out, but I’m just mad that he even mentioned it if he wasn’t 100% about it. Last summer, it rained for six weeks straight but only on the weekends. I was so fucking miserable.
Now that I’m accepting that we’re not going, I said I was going for a walk, and my boyfriend doesn’t want me to cause he wants me with him (not possessive at all, we’ve been experiencing really great moments in our relationship so we’ve been disgustingly gushy lol) and he feels bad. But like, I’m going insane.
DAE get this way when they’re disappointed? They just get angry and bratty and can’t move on? I just want the sun kissing my skin, but if I don’t get that I’ll have a meltdown before the day is done.
EDIT: thank you guys so much for reminding me that calling myself a brat is furthering invalidating myself. I ended up telling my boyfriend how him denying me going outside isn’t fair and he immediately apologized. I don’t wanna say he let me out but he said he didn’t mean to hold me hostage type shit. I went and got a drink at my local cafe and spiked it. Just so I can’t be loose and get over it. I’m already feeling a lil lighter and I can smile so I’m a lot calmer. I just wanna say this so no one thinks he’s being disingenuous or im being manipulated by him! Thank you guys for being so concerned though like yall are really ride or dies out here and I didn’t know I needed this type of validation 🥹