Hi, my first time posting here!
My mum’s behaviour has been generally degrading in terms of social etiquette/general politeness/emotional maturity for the last few years. It has interestingly worsened since we have moved closer to her location and bought the home we intend to raise children in.
I’ve done a lot of work around this recently, including reading about emotionally immature parents, and have been able to process her behaviour, grieve the mother I wanted and thought I had but will never get, and generally see through her self-victimisation.
The one thing I can’t make sense of is her seeming disbelief of children’s allergies.
Specifically- my niece being anaphylactic to eggs.
The first instance was a joint Christmas a year ago where she decided the dish she would contribute was a zucchini slice. If you don’t know, it’s like a big quiche and it had a dozen eggs in it. We even made it that day while said niece and the rest of the family was around so there were plenty of eggs shells in the kitchen. Me, my sister and our SIL were all very onto hand hygiene and making sure everyone including kids washed their hands after eating, as well as broadcasting the location of the EpiPen in the nappy bag.
Fast forward about a year and I heard that my SIL took the allergic niece and her other son up for a play date with grandma (my mum) where she again made this zucchini slice!! Her reasoning was ‘the kids loved it last time’. My SIL was in disbelief, as was I when I heard about it.
Lastly, I spoke to her on the phone the other day where she casually said ‘what is ‘niece’ allergic to these days?’
It is like she doesn’t believe in allergies or thinks they aren’t as bad as people make them out to be..?
For context she loves to dive down conspiracy rabbit holes and has become a firm anti-vaxxer in recent years, and will sooner believe what flat earth Dave has to say over any established medical institution.
Does any one know what’s going on here?? Similar situations experienced? Any feedback would be great!