u/Eastern_Camel4077

My boyfriend (32M) and I (27F) have been together for 4 years. We both still live with our parents. His parents have known for years that he’s not single, but I’ve only met them twice because both our family are more reserved.
The first time was at his friend’s wedding last year and it went fine, brief but pleasant conversation (i was tipsy and it calmed my nerves)
Recently my boyfriend had a back injury (disc hernia) and was in the hospital for few days. He asked me to come stay with him during the day on the 3rd day because his parents are in their 60s, both not physically fit/stressed, and needed nap during the afternoon. He specifically told me his mom said “please” about me coming, which made me feel like I was genuinely wanted/appreciated there but either way I was going to go see him. When I went there next morning, his dad had already gone home and a friend of ours was there for couple of hours and once I reached there the friend left.
So I stayed with him for around 8 hours. I massaged his back, helped with physiotherapy, we talked and had a good time.
Then his mom came with his dinner, we greeted each other politely, but after that she barely talked to me, barely looked at me, and spent most of the time on her phone talking to other people. The whole vibe felt awkward and cold to me. When I left, she said “thank you.”
Later I texted my boyfriend saying I felt uncomfortable and wondered why his mom was so quiet. That’s when things spiraled.
He started defending her and correcting my perception:
saying she DID talk to me, saying she made conversation about gloves, saying she looked at me, saying maybe I was on my phone too, and that I “expect a lot.”

He also said maybe both me and his mom were nervous/awkward because this was only our second time meeting. Now I genuinely can’t tell if I’m overreacting and expecting too much warmth from stressed/sick parents, OR reasonably hurt because I made a big effort to support him and then felt emotionally unwelcome afterward.

Now I don’t know if Im overreacting and catastrophizing everything based on that day.

My (32M) boyfriend of 4 years has been unemployed for 5 months and is laser-focused on landing an INGO role, but keeps getting rejected. He refuses to apply for NGO jobs or lower-level positions like associate/officer because he feels they’re beneath his qualifications and experience. He’ll only consider coordinator or supervisory roles.

We don’t live together, so his unemployment doesn’t directly impact my finances, but naturally when we go out for dinners, dates, or even short trips, I’ve been stepping in more financially. At first, I understood it’s a hard job market but now it’s starting to weigh on me emotionally.

What’s making me uneasy isn’t just the unemployment itself, but how rigid he’s being about it. I’ve suggested broadening his options temporarily so he can stay financially stable, build momentum, and avoid draining what little savings he has left. But he completely shuts that down, insisting his degree and past experience mean he shouldn’t “settle.”

What concerns me most is that his savings were already minimal, and now he’s rapidly running through them without a practical backup plan. At 32, I’m struggling to separate whether this is a temporary career setback or a reflection of deeper issues like pride, poor adaptability, or unrealistic expectations.

For those who’ve been in similar situations, how do you evaluate whether a partner’s prolonged unemployment is simply bad luck versus a concerning sign about their long-term judgment, resilience, and ability to build a stable future?