This is going to be a long read
I apologize about the typos. I'm having a rough day
It started when I (34/f) met a new friend ( f/34) through my husband's (32/m) old classmate (34/m). We both gave birth in the same year and connected things seemed good between us as 2 couples for 2 years. We have done day trips together and fun things with the children. We have spent holidays and birthdays together as well. I don't text every day- I am good for 1-2x a week or even 1x a month with friends. I knew my husband was texting her, but I did not think much of it.
One day, I got a text from her regarding my child's upcoming birthday- and the plans she had for his birthday such as decorations, theme, and goodie bags. I did not talk with her about any plans for a birthday party and was caught off guard. I told her mayne talk to my husband to see if he has any ideas - she told me she already had and was just letting me know... I followed up with hubby, who had talked to her and our child's godmother as well, about the party ideas. When I confronted my husband, he said they had only talked about the party that day... and he even accused me of being jealous for being concerned that she texted him about a party for our child.
I didn't like being called jealous, and it led to a 1-week-long fight; he even told me I'm "acting like she is his mistress." I told him I don't want them talking so much after learning they text almost daily- noting "spicy" but he will talk about his day- she will too, and he will sometimes vent about me and how i am as a wife/parent, and she will give him encouragement and advice
I reached out to her in a private message, requesting she and him communicate in the 2 couples group chat from now on. She told me no problem, but stopped answering my calls, and when she texted me back, she said she doesn't associate with people who put their insecurities on her and accused me of starting drama. I am actually sad because I thought we could talk this out, but she is done with me.
My husband is upset that the friendship is over with her and blames me. He feels I am the problem in our marriage and that he did nothing wrong.
What can I do now
TLDR- I confronted my husband for getting too close to a female friend, and he is upset that I asked her to only speak with him in our group chat. She has shut me out. My husband says he did nothing wrong and believes I will do his again of he talks to a female friend. I don't know what to do...