isolating for anyone else?
TW for mentioning kind of serious/heavy/sad topics. i’ve age regressed for as long as i’ve known due to growing up with many years of emotional and verbal abuse.
i feel like i’ve been broken up with twice because of my regressed self. i’ve been keeping it a secret from my girlfriend of 5 months - i’m terrified of her finding out and leaving me like my other two exes have.
i can’t help but feel like people like me aren’t cut out for love. i’ve always been too much for people.
my gf and friends playfully make fun of the “classic vrchat age regressers” and i can’t help but feel shame because i age regress a few nights a week by myself in my bedroom despite not wanting to. i have to tend to/take care of my inner child every day and at nighttime i’m just… exhausted, so i let her do whatever. it feels nice. i babble, i play with toys, i color, i eat chocolate pudding and mac and cheese. i love the swings, the trampoline, skipping, stickers, chalk, and blowing bubbles.
when i’m like this, no one has ever really been accepting toward me. when i was a passenger in a car accident and slipped into this state out of stress, i was met with backlash and malice from my parents, and then judgment from the police officers questioning me. it feels very lonely to be like this.