u/Easteuroblondie

I’ve been thinking about how crazy it is that neutrogena cut Hayden over her talking PPD.

Hayden had been publicly been struggling with addiction, alcoholism, mental health, her boyfriends abuse of her lead to police confrontation for domestic violence that made some news, I recall her being involved in a physical fight in some way. Her book talks about basically being trafficked, bad relationship with her mom, I mean lots of things brands don’t like being associated with, regardless of fault or blame. Brands aren’t empathetic when making these decisions, they are just thinking, what is this person associating with our brand?

And Hayden said this herself in one of her last interviews: all of that—and her talking about PPD is where they draw the line and cut the relationship?

That seems very odd to me I mean, I’m not trying to victim blame but we all know if you’re struggling with addiction at work (or if they become aware of your struggles outside of work) you probably won’t be there very long.

That’s why it’s crazy that despite oblivious public struggle with addiction, domestic violence, family problems, sextortion experiences, etc., and her talking about PPD is where they were like…too far. For a brand who primary market is women? It’s very odd like what is the compass here?

Hayden did have a very nice complexion. Eye opening stuff. RIP 🕊️

Because I think he’s kicking ass. We’ll see, of course—extremely tough case and extremely tragic situation. I don’t think I’ve ever seen this much support for a mother who killed her kids, and there’s been a few high profile cases over the years.

I realize he’s probably not PD, but criminal defense no less. So same universe.

Some things I noticed he does:

When witnesses defer to generalizations (I saw one go “generally when someone…”) he veers them back with “I’m not asking generally, doctor,* I’m talking about Lindsay Clancy.” I think this is very effective, avoids “generalization” escape hatches and subtly frames the medical institution as “checking boxes and filling forms” instead of addressing the individual situation.

And throwing in “doctor,” in these cobra strikes, is smart too, because it’s showing the witness professional respect WHILE being very aggressive and confrontational.

Every-time I’ve seen him go in for a strike, its really intense, but I think like 9/10 times, I come out being like…he just made that person look pretty bad and smeared some liability around. Very strategic and effective at picking what to go in for.

He never accepts “I believe so.” I saw him say “believe so? This is a murder trial. You reviewed your records before you came here to testify, right? three children are dead; this is serious.” This is extremely effective because it in a way creates this sense that he too, is on the children’s side, trying to get to the bottom of responsibility even though he is effectively counseled for their admitted murderer. Power move.

Reddington has done an incredible job, and something pretty smart, in that they’re coming in strong on the core defense of the postpartum psychosis, but somehow has also sort of spun narrative that bring Patricks potential role into question and even raised him, indirectly, as a possible suspect, without actually asserting it or deviating from their core defense of “she did it, in a severe psychosis.” That’s pretty wild to be weaving in a secondary, contradictory defense without even arguing it.

However, one weakness, or I guess, alternative strategy I’m sure he considered: he could have potentially gone not guilty and built decent defense in “reasonable doubt” by raising Patrick as a possible, direct killer. That would have been riskier.

I’m not making allegations, after all, Lindsay is admitting to it but I do think he could have built a reasonable-doubt based defense around the husband. I mean, these are just internet rumors but. he may have been cheating with her with a doppleganger while she was clearly struggling, could have raised the possibility of him wanting out of the family life he’d built à la Chris watts. P also raked in well over a million from go fund me, sold the house at profit, there may have been life insurance policies in play (no idea, but a lot of employers offer that for family members, it’s not unheard of). Plus whatever’s going on in this civil case I’m sure is big ticket $$, if successful. Not really sure what’s going on with that, but I assume based on catastrophic damages at hand, if successful, going to be many millions. And this defense strategy may bolster that case as liability seems to be, at least in part, directed at the institutions treating Clancy.

There’s also the whole “male voice” thing that could be spun, the shoes/outfit change questions. I don’t think it’s enough to convict, or even indict, but idk the full scope of details of the investigation. I assume Reddington does. But we’re not convicting him beyond a plausible reasonable doubt, or even indicting him. The question is, could he have been developed as a reasonable doubt theory as a defense for Lindsey? Much lower standard—and might have been doable.

The trade off is, they’d be grappling with Lindseys many admissions to various people she was struggling with thoughts of self harm and harming the children which would have been hard to get past with a reasonable doubt defense. Plus she seemed to acknowledge she did it to several people. I’m sure reddington weighted out the options…and chose the insanity defense for a reason.

Still, he seems to be weaving in the second defense, brilliantly, and somehow, without contradicting his “she did it, but in a psychosis” position.

I saw a poll, which of course is just armchair jurors in the court of public opinion—but it said 21% of people polled said they think the husband did it. That’s wild. I mean, that’s not even the defense being presented, and a pretty good chunk of people (enough for a mistrial!) literally don’t think the person on trial, who is openly admitting they did it as part of their defense. I mean…wow. Nuts. 1/5 people (at least, polled) is adopting the even more long-shot defense theory *that isn’t even being presented.*

It’s interesting that post partum is having a moment, in part due to this trial, with some additional OJ-style cultural tailwinds in part due to Hayden pannitierres death, her lost brand deals, etc. then ended up dead not too long after speaking up about PPD. post-partum conditions are part of the cultural discourse at the moment, and in more ways than one. I was shocked to see the much more rare, severe version of PPD, the *psychosis* version, was taken out of the DSM-5. I think many women see this as gaslighting by the medical institution they’ve probably all felt at some point in some way, whether in relation to post-partum symptoms or not. granted, this case is an extremely rare and catastrophic manifestation.

I see this as a very useful tool for jury selection, because I suspect a lot of women have experienced PPD much more than people realize, but try to keep it to themselves, for better or for worse. PPD is not the same as the much, much more severe expression PPP. Nevertheless, PPP does happen, even if exceptionally rarely. Likewise, moms killing their kids is also exceptionally rare—but unfortunately, it does happen sometimes.

I read a study that suggested anywhere between 15-25% of women experience PPD rising to the point of being diagnosed, and that’s not even accounting for people who don’t have easy access to medical/psychological care. It’s probably much higher. But of course, it’s a scale, and the much more severe, PPP is estimated to be about 8:100,000, so much, much rarer.

But 8/100,000 means it *does* come up. just because it’s rare, doesn’t mean it’s not real when it does happen. Personally, it seems to me all women likely experience a huge dip in hormones after giving birth. I mean the body is surging with hormones during pregnancy, then discharged. Could think of it as a severe hormonal withdrawal. probably takes a few months to recalibrate. And for some women, it’s probably a much higher volatility swing than others.

My unprofessional, speculative, armchair prediction is: hung jury, mistrial, followed by plea deal on much lesser charges. or possible success of insanity defense.

My bet on least likely outcome is 3, 1DM convictions. but we’ll see. You never know. and the trial is not over.

On a side note, I read something in another lawyer sub I think y’all might appreciate:

criminal lawyers are usually civil; civil lawyers are usually criminal

But what you do is important. Hold the line!

I am first gen Eastern European, I went back to my parents country a lot as a child growing up.

My mom always had a strained relationship with her father, my grandpa. He had a darkness about him, the most Scorpio of all Scorpios. A super Scorpio

I don’t want to say he liked me but…he was very anti social, an alcoholic, sort of callous, rough, weathered, always had a cig dangling from his mouth, worked the fields his whole life, had seen some shit in his day, and it showed. he’d call me over to sort through male chicks and female chicks, because the males chicks weren’t worth keeping in his eyes, if you catch my drift. I get resource management is real in poor countries but like—do you really need to call over your 7yo granddaughter for this during my 1x a year visit?

He got darker and darker. but, for whatever reason, he maintained a strange sort of generosity with me up until his death. He’d carefully pick the best strawberries or cherries of the harvest that day and set them aside, bringing them to me without really saying anything. Even my cousins and sisters noticed. I didn’t really know what to make of it, because besides these little offerings and otherwise awkward interactions like the chick sorting for culling, or him explaining how when he was going to kill one of the rabbits he raised for food, he’d take it away from the others first, give it a strawberry and cover its eyes, how he had a very quick method of doing it so they wouldn’t see it coming before it was over. Which tbh I hated because I was a young animal loving girl like grandpa I don’t need to know about all this, I’m a child lol. You can do this—and I understand why you do—but don’t have to include me.

I am a dead ringer for my mom, I look just like her. I think he saw her in me. They had a strained relationship, and his sudden death was a very complicated grief journey for her. I always wondered what the fracture was between them, but it was such a touchy issue, I didn’t bring it up. He often straight up ignored my dad, even when we’d trek have way across the world to see them, he would just pretend he’s not there.

My mind filled in the blanks. Was there CSA there? He was an alcoholic, no question about that, granted a functional one. He grew up in bleak times, born just before the war and coming of age in the aftermath, which was no picnic, either.

A few years ago, I had a strange but vivid dream. He was at the kitchen table in the one bedroom house he raised a family in, and said, in his language, “you should have told me. I at least deserved that.”

I’m American born and there’s really nothing I can imagine he had any expectations of me telling him before his passing. Like…told you what? I got a job or into college or…? That I don’t want to help you sort through the baby chicks for culling or that you smell like cigs and booze? What’re you talking about grandpa?

In the dream, I didn’t respond. At all. Just sort of watched him sadly smoke a cigarette at the kitchen table.

A few days ago, my mom came over with my nieces and we were painting these wooden fish for an upcoming surprise party for my dad. i don’t even remember how grandpa came up, i do have a picture of him in my living room where we were, and next to a bigass labradorite, mind you. this dream was a while ago. but i mentioned it and what i can literally replay in my mind like a well imprinted memory: “you should have told me. I at least deserved that.”

My mom froze in place and looked over at me. I kinda chuckled as I was telling her, like “tell you what, Grandpa?!”

her eyes started watering. And I was like…okay…what’s up?

That’s when I learned that the reason their relationship had been so strained was that he had put her through school from the literal sweat of his brow (he was an incredible green thumb and in his childhood, if you didn’t grow your own food, you didnt eat.) her brothers for example, didn’t get to, granted they are doing very well in the business they helped him with today. she did really well and got into a good university, the first in the family.

He was reluctant to let her go, but eventually and even came around to it. He helped her move, pay for books and supplies, which for a man who grew up in survival level scarcity, was not a small thing. Though by then, he had grown orchards and developed enough to have surplus to trade and sell goods, creating some stability. not that he was a big softie or affectionate man by any measure. He had a lot of demons and I suspect he was abusive in many ways. but he was in the most literal sense, a provider who put food on the table and roof over their heads by his own hands

There, she met me dad. they got married—without my dad asking my grandpa (which was a big deal in that time and culture)—applied for refugee asylum, were granted it, and left for the U.S., without telling my grandpa until *after* they had already moved. And she didn’t finish her degree, either

My grandpa was crushed when he found out. their relationship was never the same. I guess he felt betrayed.

I couldn’t believe it. All these years, I wondered what happened.

in the dream, he looked so sad. I didn’t react at all. Maybe because he wasn’t talking to me

After she told me the context it all made sense. Why they fought every time we visited, why he didn’t acknowledge my dad. Problem was he drank so much it was easy to write him off as the problem. After she told me the story we sat there, painting these fish quietly. After a while she said, “well, if you see him again, tell him he’s right, he did deserve that, am I’m sorry.”

All those years of fighting, literally all I ever saw them do, and I guess he finally found what he was trying to say.

I just nodded and said “I will.”

12th stuff is so trippy.

This post touches on some heavy topics but not in detail.

This is a decades long story but I’ve been really diving into some case files from my childhood from the 90s bc some changes in law opened up options. Guy did some things, was convicted back then, did some time. I’d prefer to not think about him.

What I’m appalled at, I suppose bc my brain is used to the underlying facts, is what happened after. which I’m just learning about now as an adult

Because it turns out, the guy had a few prior complaints made against him to mandated reporters by concerned moms of kids—girls—that they suspected he had offended against based on physical symptoms. The fucking gaslighting of this women was insane. I’m not quite sure of how, but someone suggested the physical symptom the woman was reporting as the basis of her concern was because of bubble bath and didn’t even bother to take the report, let alone do the whole mandated reporter thing.

A second mom made a complaint regarding her daughter about two years later, this time to law enforcement. Law enforcement took the report, and that’s it. Improvement over CPS not taking the report at all, I guess. didn’t cross report like they are required to do by law (guy had a kid-centric livelihood).

A month later, a boy makes a comment to his father that concerned him. He also notified law enforcement of what his son had said. They sprung into action.

Bring the guy in for questioning. He denies it a bit but cracks, starts crying and confesses to everything pretty openly, surprisingly. Expressed a lot of remorse, but you know, f*ck him anyways. However, I say this because from his statements it sounds like there was some self hatred going on there, so basically, after some questioning, he rolled over fast and took full accountability. He’s convicted and sentenced to prison.

Lawsuits start. And in some filings, they are still gaslighting this first mom who reported her concerns, bringing up the possibility of bubble bath, like bro, she was fucking right—he told you point-fucking-blank he was doing exactly what she reported. Hello? HELLO. 👏🏻 earth to basic Mr. Bubble bath. Do you copy?

Even when she was proven 100% right, they’re making her look crazy and uncredible even while the guy who confessed, pled guilty to, and was, at the time same moment in time, sitting in prison for.

And it pisses me off a lot because this woman made this report months before he and I crossed paths. And the reality is, he rolled over pretty fast.

if they had done what they are legally required to fucking do and literally collect paychecks for when she reported it, my whole ordeal could have been prevented. And so could have this boys who everyone spring into action for in a way I wish had happened for the moms and the girls too. I hate that it had to happen to him for anyone to take it seriously. If only someone or some people had said something…

And that’s not even the half of it. In the aftermath, a week after his arrest, the State sent a letter of *commendation* to the child protective services agency who failed to even write her complaint down? 2 different moms, a year apart, going out of their way with enough concern, I mean, hysteria over bubble bath, to report it and you can’t be bothered to write it down and make a call.

The guy just gave a 4-hour confession enumerating what he did and naming several children he did this to, and you’re giving out letter of commendation? The second-hand embarrassment, bro. how shitty of a job were you guys doing that this, and all the red flags you missed were reason to celebrate?
what a relentless circle jerk 90 civil government was Aim higher. I need to get a job in Government. Maybe if I take a big shit on my desk, I’ll get a medal 🏅

The guy is convicted and really didn’t put up much of a fight when confronted. Actually, he kinda went full blown milksop on them, apparently ugly crying about it. I read some of his statements and honestly, I got the impression a part of him was relieved he was caught.

Nevertheless, several years later and with the benefit of hindsight proving her right, first reporter mom was berated on the stand in her severely limited scope deposition about her “unfounded” “opinion,” even as the subject of the allegation sat in a prison cell with numerous felony convictions to which he pled guilty for doing exactly what she reported. Not a letter of commendation in sight.
And she wasn’t even suing anyone! Witness only.

reading through all of this—and this isn’t even stretching the surface—I feel like, while we have not arrived, we have made some progress after all. I really hope that if we get there, they submit this letter of commendation as part of their defense like they did the 90s. Stipulated, your honor. Hell, if they don’t, maybe I will.

Because I’d really like let them know what I think of the job they did now that I can talk…and really share my thoughts on when is, and isn’t an appropriate time of a letter of commendation

I sometimes feel I have some kind of weird energy where people become obsessed with me even when our lives have 0 intersectionality, even if I haven’t seen them in many years, and often from a distance. It’s truely bizarre. 12h sun and mercury, but I have intercepted houses, so sun ruling 2 of them, and mercury 2 as well. I am also am a Leo rising so sun is a big player in my chart.

1. I am quite polarizing, but I do have many long term friends, good relationship with everyone in my family, etc. I make new friends super easily and often am a social connector.

I am neither asshole nor cuddly teddy bear. My super power is very little valuation on the opinion of others, which always seems to catch them off guard. I am unmanipulatable on a three-strike basis (I don’t pull the plug unless we’ve goods red handed violation or circumstantial but pattern behavior. But people want what they can’t have…

1. But I also attract intense hatred. I mean, people wake up and go to sleep seething at me. And I swear you’d think I’d killed their dog or f*ucked their husband or wife which I have never and honestly, I think I live by my standards more than mo

st.

1. I also accept my weaknesses and faults, and I’d say I’m reasonably self-aware of what they are, which are factored into my moral compass. I think this bothers some people.
2. I have had bosses HATE me. And oddly, their bosses love me. True story....one boss was actively campaigning to get me fired while digging up old documents from a shared work drive from before she was even hired (I had written some "thought leadership" stuff for our CEO and was straight up taking my name off of it, putting hers on it exactly how it was, typos and all, and submitting it to industry journals without telling anyone. I have at two different companies been taken off a PIP and made an “individual contributor,” I.e., I report to no one but actually all the C-levels. They too get obsessed

,

1. but in a different way. Control. Fighting over who gets to task me. All trying to isolate me in different ways. It's.... bizarre.

It’s

1. like everyone wants to dominate me in a different way.

Submission.

1. Another weird manifestation of this is I am a magnet for taken men. I have been single for like a year +. During this time I shot my shot a few times. No dice. Big humble

, but not really. My ego is like a hydra. Not interested, until

1. they get in a relationship. For some reason, that's the condition for them to get REAL romantic with me. PINING. LONGING. You’re in a relationship now—It’s supposed to be the other way around. Where was this energy when I was showin

g

1. interest when this third party wasnt in the mix? it’s

2. MORE than a text. They all of a sudden comment on everything, text even

when

1. I don’t text back, read books they know I like

,

1. post pictures of them "reading" it,

baiting me,

1. talk to themselves in my text messages and DMs, watch movies they know I like

.

1. one even dressed up like a character in a book I wrote. what in tarnations

? Bro I told you point blank like hey, take me on a date? Couldn’t be bothered. But now you have a girlfriend and spiraling? It’s happened more than once. It genuinely feel like…I don’t know what this energy is but I’m not sure you actually like me. I don’t know what that is.

while it might sound like I’m bragging, theres a catch22 with 100% manifestation: if they break up with their partner or wife or whatever tf they have going on—crickets. I could come back and be like hey you’re single I’m single. No interest. it’s sort of like being in a glass box. you obsess over me when me when YOU'RE unavailable? Like…bad? Bending over backwards to get my attention because…? Not like you’d do anything with it.

And it might not sound like this, but these aren’t your typical “player” guys. A lot of them are genuinely decent people (I’m an older broad, so I have some longer-range view on them). They aren’t bad people. This behavior is pretty much the only real stain on their reputation—and only I see that they’re dogging their partner out, even if not physically, for no god damn reason whatsoever. Im not convinced they actually want me even when they’re saying they do but in a relationship. I’m literally not doing or saying anything or with them at all. Whatever energy is possessing those old bosses....I’m sending them all into a tailspin in different ways just by existing. And not nearby. Not people you see around. Doing literally *absolutely nothing* and completely out of sight. 500-1000 miles away, minding my own god damn business. Shouldn’t THIS be the time I’m out of mind?

Now, I never have—at least not that I know of—been the "other" person, least not in a physical way. Even now, in hindsight, I don’t have any *confirmed* instances of being the third party, though it’s possible I just didn’t get full-blown confirmation. I find a lot of people do that “technically the truth” thing with me where they use carefully chosen words and double entendres.

if I cut through that, they stutter and play Babe in the Woods before giving me something nonsensical. I was recently on a second date, and he said something very nonchalant about his ex. They had traveled to a country I said I wanted to go to. Not charged, not emotional, neutral. Just for good measure—almost half kidding—“is she aware she’s your ex?” This guy's deer in headlights and subsequent verbal gymnastics were magnificent fireworks. Logical backflips that would make Simon Biles herself blush. i just smiled and nodded, i made no accusations but we both knew the date was over even with him dodging the question with cirque de soliel acrobatics i could see right through. It wasn’t a total bust: he owns a tasting room nearby me, and let’s just say I went home with two bottles of top-shelf champagne just by looking at them. Secrets safe with me bro, this monkeys learned there is NO cheese in being the messenger.

One time, however, I strongly suspect I was a third party with someone I did really like. The circumstantial–but pattern evidence over time—was enough for me to cut the chord. I dont know for sure, but also, i do, you know? deep down. He’d deny it till he was blue in the face.

Want to know something? If I wanted to, I would. I know, controversial. Remember what I said about my "own" ethics that are just being real with myself about some things? I’m not on some moral high horse—I do not see it my responsibility whatsoever to uphold other people’s commitments.

I could play dumb and play along—but that’s no fun for them. That’s not the point. It’s not the sex either, contrary to popular belief. So is it the attention? The ego strokes? The validation? Since I'm not deflecting based on moral grounds, I could just say, Yeah, cheat on your wife/gf with me. Fuck her. I don’t owe her shit, I don’t even know her. Do it. Let’s go. Right now. I won’t tell.

I would bet that despite gunning for it, if I put it just like that—they wouldn’t. Because What’s the fun if I KNOW they’re trying to manipulate me? Where's the upper hand? 🫧 THATS the goal.

I’m not some defender of other people's integrity or relationship. I got my own problems. If I really wanted to, if I was real revved up. I could just Let them think they are deceiving and manipulating me into doing something I wouldn't otherwise do, which is what they really want—more than sex, attention, or validation. That’s The real prize. It would be hard. Because from inside this glass box, I can see crystal clear that most people don’t have much integrity if there are any real stakes—though they're quite quick to assess everyone else's.

So “ethically, I’m not averse. It would not be against my personal ethics. I only owe loyalty to my own commitments, not other people’s, that’s my stance.

So why not just play along? I’m not looking for a white picket fence. I have my own place and cannot imagine living with someone else again.

The reason is: I’m insulted they think I’m that dumb. It's an ego thing. A surprisingly productive hidden bigass LEO ego. I don’t care what you do to your partner behind their back. I know most people are selfish and not at all who they think they are. But also, f*ck you for insulting my intelligence with that low-grade psychobabble when I cut to the chase.

Get these barnacles off of me.

While I was in there, my IG followers list, pruning not just who was following me, but also who I was following, I had a few people I had to make a call on. No adversity between us. You know how it is, people you knew some years ago, never really that close, etc., that pile up over time.

in one case, I looked at their profile. maybe they post something worth keeping them in the mix. I looked at if they follow me. They don’t. Whatever, unfollow them. After all, haven’t said a word to them for 5+ years. Live in different cities. never close anyway. Can’t imagine an occasion we’d be in the same room and if we were, whatever, we can make polite small talk.

Incredibly, a few weeks later…they DM to ask why I unfollowed them.

First of all: HOW TF DID YOU NOTICE THAT?! HOW?! HOW? What’re you taking roll call?

Second of all: what do you mean, WHY? You get some kinda weird thrill when someone you haven’t talked to in years follows you, and you don’t follow her?! What? What do you get out of that? And even more bizarre—I actually clicked into their profile because they were watching my stories. How do they even know if I post a story if they don’t follow me?

Do I live in some kinda vortex?

I sit here alone on my couch, writing a rant on Reddit in my pjs, there are an untold number of people projecting their bullshit onto me from far away as I dig my spoon into a pint of ice cream to excavate a promising-sized wad of cookie dough

This is a personal observation of mine but we sometimes hear 12h synastry is soulmate, others we hear its disconnect.

As with many signs, I suspect it’s both. However, it is my theory that for someone with a lot of Virgo ♍️ energy, 12h placements, particularly in water signs, functions more productively than for most other sign in synastry. This is especially true for Virgo rising but I would argue for cap rising as well, to a lesser extent.

I believe this is because Virgos risings natural 7h is Pisces , the universal ruler of the 12h. This makes Virgo rising more drawn and amenable to 12h energy in general, in addition to being drawn to ♓️ energy itself (which I think to some extent, represents a type of freedoms to Virgos in a “boundless” sort of way).

I also sometimes wonder if Saturn in 12h is actually a good placement for it. Everyone’s gotta have a Saturn, and it seems like if Saturn is gonna be somewhere, 12h is decent as it could potentially restrict some of the themes there which could be productive.

Likewise, a piece’s rising will connect more with 12h energy in someone else more naturally.

I just want to say, even if I say something negative, doesn’t mean I don’t like the sign. I’m just focusing on things I’ve observed on signs that I don’t see mentioned in descriptions of them, which is sort of limiting as I don’t have a bunch of these in every sign. Some of these straight up go against conventional qualities, but, these are based on my limited real world observations.

Aries: not very ambitious, but also knows how to be content and appreciate the little things. I think Aries moon in women is a power placement, and also makes for hot people, both men and women. Idk why, but that’s what i think. This is random and more in depth astrology but I personally find mars in cancer and moon in Aries good placements contrary to trad astrology. For some reason I haven’t figured out, Aries and cancer seem to jive well together, despite being squares. That’s in one persons chart—idk about synastry.

Taurus: I don’t know many, and the ones I do keep a very low profile.

Gemini: I have a TON of Geminis in my life so I have a few. They won’t often apologize directly, but will give you a present and pretend nothing happened.
They are persistent with their gift apologies, checking in over time until youve cool off enough to not bring up whatever they did to upset you and just accept their gift apology. This is a bizarrely consistent pattern among the many Geminis I know, man or woman. My sisters, my ex, my coworkers—they’ve all done this at some point in time. Luckily for them, I understand this about them now. Gift apologies. Often a gemini gift apology is thoughtful little gift that they pass off as nothing. For example: “oh hey I found this [expensive and/or thoughtful gift] on the ground, thought it seemed like something you’d like. Want it? If not, I can throw it in the trash.” They are big gifters in general. Gemini women are very ambitious and competitive. The women are very, very loyal. The men are not at ALL. Gemini men are often loud and boisterous, yet, despite natural confidence, they are very paradoxically susceptible to the influence of others, when in fact, they have the charisma to be the influencER, not influencEE. They love being fawned over, even more than Leo men. Gemini men can put ON emotional depth, but genuinely don’t have it. This may sound like an insult, and perhaps it is, however, it’s the lack of emotional depth that makes their lightheartedness possible, and it’s not personal. Thus, what their most endearing quality is, in fact, a product of what they lack,

Cancer: the women are decent leaders and can be cutthroat, but are sometimes blind to people manipulating THEM, making them frequent and reoccurring targets. Cancer sun men are the most exploitative sign in the zodiac, and unsurprisingly, are the most common sun and rising sign among male billionaires in a small study I did. They see people as human utters to milk.

Leo: in my opinion, this is the single most positive sun placement for men. They are not self centered, just naturally confident, which is not the same thing. They are often OVERLY-concerned with how others feel, and will go out of their way to make others feel better/included/appreciated. I would say their self esteem is based on how many people love them, and it’s something they’re willing to put in the work for—and in fact, this trait can actually run negative. Like they get TOO invested in what others think and don’t have ENOUGH sense of self. But In general, reasonable and trustworthy people. The women have an unusual ability to naturally make others seek their validation, even without doing much. Doesn’t mind talking about other people’s feelings, but usually doesn’t talk about their own.

Virgo: the real freaks of the zodiac. Never met a Virgo who wasn’t a sloot. But! They are usually not screwing people over with it. Not manipulative, very “is what it is, take it or leave it.” Trustworthy and loyal

Libra: often very ambitious, achieves demanding careers and roles that are skills based, which is NOT a function of people skills, but personal discipline. Networking won’t make you pass the bar or become a chemist. They are often lucky. Almost every libra woman I know is married to a cancer male. They proactively manage their social networks and consider which groups go together and which don’t, and maintain “compartments” of people

Scorpio: I have no idea how this sign is seen as loyal. They are not. They are the least loyal sign of the zodiac, and by far. And they are sneaky about it. (Believe it or not, I have never been cheated on or dated a Scorpio so it’s not just me being salty. I have however, known many Scorpios, and all of them have cheated on partners, often multiple). They are however, supportive friends.

Sag: women are stars. Mega famous (or formally) women are often sag. Britney. Billie. Taylor. It is my personal opinion that a woman with a sag sun is a powerhouse placement, that I personally see as even stronger than in Leo (this is out of step with traditional astrology—I am saying for women, sag sun = best possible placement. And no; I’m not a sag sun, though I’d gladly switch mine for it, so this is not rooted in personal bias. Sag is the most common placement for female billionaires in my study, granted it was a smaller sample size). Sag sun men—often have a very dark side the mask well. In a study I did on convicted murderers, sag sun men outpaced the lowest occurring male sun signs (which were cancer/leo) by 5 to one, which is pretty mind boggling.

Cap: cap is, in my opinion, one of the most compatible signs with all other signs, whether or not they are “traditionally” compatible. I know many long terms cap-gem couples, cap-Leo couples, cap-cancer couples, etc…—cap sun, both male and female works in every combination, as far as I can tell. Moreover, they always prop their partner up. I do not know a single marriage with a cap, man or woman, that the caps partner isn’t also successful in their own right. Caps are a key component in power couples though often they are the “less flashy” partner. Almost like what Virgos known for).

Aqua: aqua women are to me, all the worst stereotypes of Leo. Way more self centered than Leo, low self awareness, and “crabs in a bucket mentality.” Oddly, male aquarians in my opinion, some of the best leaders of the zodiac, and often, reluctantly. No idea why.

Pisces: similar to sag, Pisces has a star quality, especially females. They are often desired by many. The men are prone to cheating *because* they are emotionally intelligent, but not empathetic. The EQ is something they mostly use for personal gain.

Because everyone in here always says, don't cast love spells! Never know how it might backfire.

This movie is exactly that and exactly why you shouldn't use power to mess with others' free will! It's interesting to see the discourse around it, because it's a recurring topic here. Ya'll are always ahead of the culture.

This is purely speculative. I’m just an armchair detective with a gut feeling, so take it with a grain of salt.

For a long time, I hesitated to say this theory out loud because its conspiratorial. It is. But with the Epsteeen files that wealthy and powerful really are involved in CSA and trafficking, it feels slightly less far-fetched than it once did. I don't think this case was botched insomuch as sabotaged (and some of the detectives have come out publicly and said so).

My theory is that JonBenét was being trafficked by her parents to elite contacts. She may have been killed by an outsider they knew — possibly someone who came over after the party that night, with their knowledge, and for " arrangements."

Some reasons why this theory sticks with me:

The pageant photos and videos are questionable. The showgirl outfits, heavy makeup, cowgirl costumes, and provocative dance routines read like marketing for a very specific, perverted audience. She was packaged and presented like a luxury item in a dark market. And inherently, a weird trust forms between "buyer and seller" in that they both stand to lose a lot if either is caught, which makes it "good, trust-based networking." I mean Ep Steen had a huge network of extremely powerful people through what? Mutual blackmail=vested stakes

One question I never see asked enough: In the intruder theory, what was a six-year-old doing in the basement in the middle of the night (11 pm - 2 am)? How did she get there? Say the Intruder came in through the basement, and what? There she was? Not upstairs asleep in her bed, like her parents claimed? Because otherwise, the intruder would have had to sneak in through the basement, come through the downstairs main area of the house, upstairs, find her room, take her out of bed without waking anyone or her responding in fear that might have woken the parents up, bring her to the basement, and her NOT call out even as she was abused and had suffered a severe head injury? Was she already in the basement? If so — why?

I keep coming back to the grand jury’s indictment of the Ramseys. They were charged with "unlawfully, knowingly, recklessly, and feloniously" permitting JonBenét to be placed in a "situation that posed a threat to her life or health, which resulted in her death." That language doesn’t fit an accident or even the Burke theory. In reality, even if Burke did it, no one. Is going to indict an 8 yo for 1st deg murder. And while rare, I think most people would see it as a horrible accident, bc at 8, he could not understand the gravity of it. Maybe parents would get some side eye but idk about saying they “knowingly, recklessly, and feloniously” put her in harms way under Burke theory. If anything, it’s an accident, and at MOST, for parents, it could maybe be negligence and I think that would be a long shot

the grand jury believed the parents knowingly exposed her to danger. They did NOT indict them on murder (direct). Maybe they didn't do it themselves—but the situation I'm describing would absolutely qualify as knowingly putting her in an extremely dangerous situation that resulted in her death.

The post-party timeline is also oddly muddy for something that had happened only hours earlier. The Ramseys stopped at the walkers house for 5-10 mins. The try went to the Stines’ house, about 2 miles from the Whites’, but accounts vary on whether everyone went inside, whether JonBenét was asleep or awake, and how long the stop lasted.

But it creates unnecessary noise in the most critical window of the night. Based on time and distance and the one stop, if their story is true, they would have been home by 930-10. what happened between 10-1 am? The pineapple evidence directly undermines the family’s claim that JonBenét fell asleep in the car and was carried straight to bed, suggests JBR was up later than the family is suggesting. They didn't want that to be known that she was kept up late. it would raise questions about what happened when they got home.

There's also the bizarreness of John's missing call logs. If this were an accident, he wouldn't need to black out weeks of calls BEFORE the incident. And if he did it himself, I can’t imagine what the call log might reveal from *before the night* in question. Like seriously, what kind of damning call could exist on the log, if he did it?

But if he was making "arrangements,"—now that's something the call logs may surface. Apparently, they had a very complex phone with numerous lines at home, too. this is Reddit sleuthing from this sub but...interesting detail.)

Perhaps Ramseys made arrangements for someone to "see" JonBenét that night. Several experts noted signs of longer-term abuse. And I believe one report cited an assault estimated ~2 weeks earlier. I believe right around then, patsy was calling the family doctor.

And the underwear change, missing package…

They probably did NOT expect the "guest" to mortally wound her. But once the guest did, they were in a bad situation. They couldn’t tell the truth or identify who it was without exposing their own crimes of knowingly putting her in danger (which goes back to that "mutual trust" inherent in this type of transaction) If they ID the guest—they're going down too. So they staged the scene and wrote the ransom note in an attempt to cover up and deflect from what was going on—even before that night.

Here's the other big problem. She was in rigor mortis when John discovered her in the basement. MEs estimates the time of death as between 1 and 2 a.m. based on the state of RM. Moreover, ME also estimates she was alive for about 45 minutes to 2 hours after the head wound but before she died. Thus, the head injury moves the timeframe of the initiation of the attack up further. That means the head injury was incurred sometime between 11 pm-1:15 ish am, meaning whoever did this to her was already in the house by 1:15 am at the latest. It IS possible that someone was ALREADY in the house when they got home, however

The fact that a 6yo NUDE autopsy photo leaked while the grand jury findings remain sealed is grotesque. She is STILL being sexually exploited after her death. Whatever ring this "guest" came from was still getting JBR material.

This theory would also explain why certain lawyers and the DA dug their heels in, to the point that detectives quit in response and sent public letters saying they are obstructing the investigation. They may not have just been shielding just the Ramseys—they may have been protecting a larger network of powerful people in this dark market.

It's just a theory, though. But I think it ties in the details well.

Heyo. I’m one month out since the release of my debut. In the ~6 weeks leading up to it, I tested out different ARC platforms, hoping to generate reviews. Here’s how it played out. This post has 0 affiliation with any of these entities, cross my heart! I was super grateful for posts like this when I was figuring it out not so long ago, so I'm doing the same. This is where I’m at as of today, though I still have a couple of reviews trickling in this week, so I might still get some more.

NetGalley, Victory Editing, one-month slot; $65
Requests: 170
Approvals: 124
Downloads: 110
Reviews: 39 so far

*The people at Victory were amazing. Super responsive, helpful, prompt, and even posted on their social about my book, which I didn’t expect. Just good vibes, encouraging people, which is nice in that stage when I was unsure of what I was doing. Not that I interacted with them a lot, but the 2-3 times I emailed them with questions and once to update my file, they were super responsive.

In terms of actual rating, I did, by far, the worst on NetGalley. Ended up with an overall average of 3.4. I did get a couple of good reviews, and by that I mean, ones where people really analyzed what I was doing in the novel, which was sort of abstract, and covertly challenging expectations.

Takeaways: Be more discerning of reviewers. Initially, not knowing what to expect, and being quite cocky that my book was the next big thing (lol). I was approving 90% of requests that first week. But my first review was a 2-star, then 2 3-stars. Humbling. But as I started getting a range of reactions, including positive and negative, I actually kinda started to like both. Even in about half 1 and 2-stars, they'd say, "But you know what? I'd read this person's next book." lol

After my first few bad ones, I started vetting more rigorously. But by then, I already had well over half my total approvals out there in the ether, so all I could do was...you know, thoughts and prayers.

On my end, I realized from the feedback that even though my cover does match themes in my book, i could see how it might have been seen as an “alt, indie” romantasy—which it wasn’t. The cover was abstract, indie, artsy, and the biggest disconnect— "friendly." It wasn't. Anyone who went into it thinking it was a romantasy was straight ambushed with dark, demonic, deep-psyche karate chops in the form of extremely vulgar, explicit, and blasphemous smut that were metaphors for some unsettling and shadow psychology. This disconnect may have led to some of the lower reviews. Lesson learned? Idk, I usually need to learn the hard way a few times over. My second favorite review overall was also on NetGalley, a 4-star that just said “wtf."

BookSprout, 6-week campaign, $18
18 claims
14 reviews averaging 4.6 stars, 10 of which made it to Amazon. 2 DNFs: 1 with no review left, just a note saying “not for me.” And another with a 1-star that also made it to amazon as my 3rd review :(
Though they didn’t all post on Amazon, I noticed they had the highest likelihood to, which was nice because of course, you can’t post on Amazon ahead of release, and ran this campaign leading up to it. But a really good number of people who did review the book left them on Amazon.
I was pretty happy with my Booksprout experience—it’s part of how I identified the cover-expectation gap. The setup did let me test different covers by weekly campaign, and I had a few designs I liked, so I got to see how it did albeit on a very, very small sample size.
I tested cover that no one would ever think was romantasy, and found most people who claimed it with that cover reviewed well. (Both DNFs claimed it on a campaign using the same cover I did on NG).
I could have gotten 8 weeks for this price but I had to call it because of the KU thing.

BookSiren, 5-week campaign; $10:
10 claims
2 DNFs
5 reviews
4.5-star average.
These reviews tended to be the most in-depth. The $10 would have run for 3 months, but I had to end it early because of KU enrollment on the day of launch. I emailed them and asked them to end the campaign because I didn't want to gamble with the KU exclusivity. Obviously, I had a very small sample size, so....it just played out this way. But the 2 reviewers who DNF'd left a note that it wasn't their style but didn't post reviews, which I thought was considerate.

Pen Pinery, 5-week campaign:
15 claims
2 reviews
4-star average

So now, altogether, 1 month after release:
Goodreads: 45 reviews, 3.9 average
Amazon: 23 reviews, 4.1 average, and a 24th 5-star in the UK. I do sort of wish those 1 5-star reviews were reflected in my US Amazon page review count because it would push me up to 4.2, because I thought it was one of the more thoughtful written reviews that mentioned some of the things I was hoping to convey, but…well, c’est la vie.
Story graph: 7 reviews, 3.9 average

Reviews are still coming in but slowing down, though this week I had a little pop were 4 more came in (last week it was only 2). I suspect a few more will trickle in here and there, but I think the majority are in.

Honestly, though I’m not happy with my overall star ratings, I am happy with the platforms that helped me find ARC readers and I learned a lot.

I did have a very bad experience with one NG reviewer who, I was sooooo on the fence about approving (request came later after I started being more guarded). She left a 1 star, which okay, my book IS pretty out there and definitely not for everyone. I had a couple other 1 stars, one of which I actually kinda appreciated even though it was a little harsh and even mean spirited BUT, I could tell the person actually read the book and didn’t like it because of one of the more obscure, deep cut details they mentioned in their review that no one else had that was pretty deep into the book. So fair enough, she read it and hated it, which is her right, and honestly I’d actually still take that review over no review.

However one-star reviewer—I raised an eyebrow at. It’s my debut, and like many debut authors, I was refreshing my GR page quite a lot in those first maybe 3 days after release. So I actually saw this one come in. It was I think…my 17th review? I have no following, it’s a low activity GR page. But was struck me about it was that within MINUTES, this review had like 15 likes and weird ass comments of two people going “sorry this read sucked, hope your next one is better xoxo” to which the author, damn near instantly replying “thanks love.” In fact, one of these comments was actually dated earlier than the review itself, which seemed odd. How can you comment on a non existent review? This thing was posted with like a dozen likes out the gate. For comparison, my next highest engagement review had about 6 likes—and had been posted about 2 weeks earlier. So this review generated that many likes that quickly seemed…strange to me.

And of course, to this day, weeks later, it’s still my highest engagement review, sitting right that the top of all the others, with the likes it generated within minutes of being posted still towering over my next highest engagement review. I looked into this person and…idk. Suspish. And they had some followers, many with the same animation style avatar, something like the “Bratz dolls” style animation but a little more detailed and softer focus of it. History shows them all immediately commenting on each other’s reviews like ”thanks babe.” Also her “review” was extremely generic. Not a single actual detail of the book. Anyways, maybe it’s legit. I wouldn’t flag it for being a one star—it’s the “engagement velocity” I raised an eyebrow at.

Hope that helps!

I debuted like a week ago. I have gotten a mixed bag of reviews, mostly 4 stars, a few 5s, but also....a few 1s, 2s, and 3s. Yeah, it hurts but...I mean, its my first, and I knew it was not going to be everyone's cup of tea. It's pretty abstract and definitely doesn't fit a genre. Anyways, I digress.

It's not that it was a one-star. I have a couple other one-stars, including one written where I know the reader both read the book and legitimately hated it, which is her right. I have my critiques of her review as well, but do not doubt she read it. (I do think she missed the point entirely.

But I got this one star on Friday, which was very generic, one that could have been left on literally any book. Not a single actual detail. no characters, no plot points, no scenes, nothing.

I saw this review come in on NetGalley in real time as I was checking my email. I thought to myself, I hope they don't post it on GR and go to GR to check. It's not there yet, though there appears to be a rating that I hadn't seen yet in the total review count. I'm thinking, aw man, they did. Now the question was how much this bring my average down?

I refresh, and there it is, the one star I was dreading. I watched it go live in real time. But the stars were still the same and hadn't updated.

I refresh again. This time, the review has 12 likes. I thought that was insanely fast. I mean...this review has been live for two minutes? The stars' average hasn't even updated yet. I refresh again.

16 likes. And comments now! multiple! People are extending their condolences to this reviewer for being so disappointed by my book. And the reverend had already written back to these sympathizers, apparently on standby.

Just minutes after this thing goes live, it has dozens of likes and a bunch of odd comments. For comparison, as a no-name author, my GR page has very little activity. I have 3 followers lol. The next highest engagement review on my page, a 4-star, has 2 comments and like 6 likes, which was posted weeks ago? And somehow, within minutes of going live, this generic one-star somehow had over 3x the engagement—and of course, the top spot on the reviews list, because it's by far the highest engagement review!

I was all bummed about it. But later, on my run, I was like something stinks about that. I can and do believe some people will hate this book, but the velocity of the engagement was sus.

You know, when I thought of review manipulation, I figured it mostly took the form of inflating reviews with fake 5-stars. I mean, we're all out here trying to get reviews and hoping for good ones.

I had not really considered that people are also out there bringing other people down, and coordinating engagement to make sure a shitty and generic review by someone I REALLY doubt read the book was the top one. Even weirder, when I went back to look at it, I noticed that one of the apologist comments was somehow older than the review itself. Not sure how that works.

I started clicking on the commenters' profiles, and of course, they're all avatars. They do seem to have real account history, but as I looked closer, it got weirder. They would 5-star all of one author's books in one day, and 1-star all of another author's backlist another day. They did different authors.

What a shit show. I reported it to GR—but not holding my breath. Then, I read about this author who lost a trad pub deal doing this. I bet it's less about the review inflation, though that's sus too, but the fact that she was ALSO using those fake accounts to review bomb other accounts.

What a strange psychology! I kinda get the desire to pump your own book's rating, but to also be like, I'm going to take out everyone else? lol that's wild. I bet the author who got busted doing this is just the tip of the iceberg.

Makes me want to create a bunch of fake accounts and just go drop a bunch of 5 stars on indie authors with low-ranking books.