u/Easy-Foot7374

Through a lot of disassociation, my partner and I have managed to live with his mother for 4 years. The decision for her to live with us was originally due to her partner passing away and us having a newborn, but her stay with us has reached far past its expiry date.

Through those years, her behavior has become outright inappropriate.

It started with underhanded comments about our parenting skills to a point where she now attempts to manage us on a daily basis. For example, in a span of five minutes when getting my son ready for school she asks: did you get his lunch, did you get him a water bottle, is the water fresh, did you get him an extra pair of clothes, is it a swim day. We've called her out for managing us and she quickly recoils...only to come back with a memory of goldfish a few days later.

We've made the decision she needs to move out.

Has anyone else dealt with breaking up with a MIL and telling her to move out? Any advice? We expect her to have extreme emotional outbursts and attempt painful manipulative tactics over this decision.

For me personally it's San Francisco because of work but curious on what others say.

My mil has autism, ADHD, and is a narcissist. This is a constant point of conversation across extended and core family members. I emphasize (and empathize) most times she doesn't understand her behaviours hurt people but at what point...what's the limit I should take?

Most recently she and my parents watched my kids while my husband and I went to a wedding. As it was Father's Day and my dad was spending his watching the grand kids I wanted to order and pay for take out from a place my parents like and our go to take out spot. Little did I know my mil ended up deciding for the whole group what she wanted and ordering 4 main dish things. My mom/dad are shy (which my mil knows and takes advantage of) and felt they shouldn't add anything else to the order as it was a lot of food for 3 people and expensive. Strike 1.

The next morning I asked how the food was out of politeness and my mil said it was awful and she wouldn't recommend that restaurant to anyone. I countered we've ordered many times before from there with my parents and it's our go to. Strike 2.

As a thank you for sitting with the kids I had bought my mil a $60 waffle maker that was well rated on Amazon as my mil's had recently broke and was not repairable. My mil rejected the waffle maker because it wasn't a brand she recognized and emphasized her broken waffle maker was Cuisinart and worth $200. Strike 3.

Interactions with her make me want to rip my hair out!