My soul dog died - rant
My soul dog (and childhood dog) died 3 days ago. Today is the first day I am going to work. Today was the hardest day to get out of bed. Everything sucks. I am numb. My routine is off. There's no more excited clicking claws on the floor, and no more reason to go outside early in the morning.
I live in a small house and she only had one bed, I still bring it into my bedroom at bedtime and into the living room during the day. I made a smoothie with a banana in it for breakfast, and still put some banana in her bowl. it was her favourite.
I want to cry all the time but can't. I don't know why. I am just numb. I will not do anything stupid but I do not want to be here anymore. I would not inflict that kind of trauma onto my family or partner. But I honestly probably would if it wouldn't hurt anyone.