Need to vent- difference between wanting to be called a dad and wanting to be one.
I’m starting to feel really sad and conflicted about my daughter’s dad and I don’t know if I’m overreacting.
We’re currently away on holiday with our 14-month-old and it’s made me notice things more. He seems to want to parent when it suits him, but when she’s being difficult, clingy or moany (which is normal for a toddler and she’s been intense the last week- the heat and jet lagged), he gets frustrated very quickly. At one point he said all he wanted was to relax this holiday but couldn’t due to our daughter (bare in mind he does about 5% of the care for her. Maybe less. When she would have a nap he would be like thank god- I mean I feel like that too some days but that’s because I’m basically a single mum in a relationship. But how has has been honestly upset me more than I expected.
A lot of the time he’s also just on his phone. I feel like I have to ask him to spend time with her instead of him naturally wanting to. Been away a week all she wants to do is be in the water and he’s been in twice. I’m in all throughout the day.
I remember as a child it would be my dad in the water with me playing all the time and he had a very busy job!
I’m the default parent constantly, even while we’re meant to be away together.
I know parenting isn’t always fun and toddlers are hard work, but I don’t think it’s normal to feel irritated by your child this much or disconnected from them. It makes me worried about what kind of father he actually wants to be.
Am I being too sensitive/emotional or would this upset other people too?