Mixed feelings about my friend
Ok, so I think I contracted it when I was SA’d a few years ago, but the infectious disease doctor said my results over 6 months were inconclusive and she deemed me clear of a possible infection. Anyway. I received a diagnosis this past fall. I got a terrible UTI and then had an outbreak on top of it. It was so bad. I was in terrible pain.
Rewind to my birthday last year. I met a man on a discord for the local RenFaire and we became friends. I wasn’t super interested in a relationship at the time but, despite our big differences, we became fast friends. We tried to date, attempted sex a few times but he was too cerebral about it just kinda fizzled. He insisted on just friends, which was kinda hard but I accepted.
Back to the fall. I share everything with him. We are incredibly close. I told him I was having pain and I was afraid I actually did have HSV 2 despite the doctor saying otherwise. I go to the clinic and I have sores they swab and yup, positive. It was kinda devastating because this is the second time I had to face this. He supported me the whole way. He lives a couple hours away and he had started coming over more and more over the time.
I swore I wouldn’t have sex with anyone again (maybe if they were also positive). One day he slept over for the weekend like he’s done before and before he was fully awake, he rolled over and started kissing me and letting me touch him. It was consensual on both ends. I ended up going down on him and he held me and kissed me while I took care of myself after. It’s become one of our things that we do sometimes. One day I very nervously brought up the topic of sex. He had previously reassured me that with an informed partner, I could easily have a fulfilling sex life.
Yesterday he made a passing comment about when we move in together the opportunity to have sex will be more prevalent. It was unprovoked. I guess it just makes me apprehensive. I’m on antivirals. He knows the risks. Some reassure me? We aren’t really dating as we kinda are tired of the dating scene and are honestly just so close already and love each other. It’s a weird but acceptable situationship.
I just want some reassurance that I won’t hurt him for the most part and the risk is very low?