AIO. Am I (25F) overreacting? Found screenshots of a woman he knows on my boyfriend’s (28M) phone. He used them for self-pleasure.
I’ve been with my boyfriend for about 1.5 years. It’s my first serious relationship. A few days ago, I accidentally found 6 screenshots in his gallery. They were photos of a woman (selfies, gym shots, bikini pics) taken from her Instagram back in December.
When I confronted him, he admitted he used them for masturbation a few times. He claims she’s just a "friend of a friend" he met once at a party, and they’ve never had any contact or chats. I checked, and there truly are no messages between them. He said it was just a "male instinct" and didn't mean anything serious. He couldn't explain why he kept the photos for five months without deleting them.
The thing is: I don’t mind pornography. I watch it myself. As long as the people are anonymous, I’m fine with it. But this feels different. She’s someone from his extended social circle. To make matters worse, I found a similar screenshot of a woman who looks just like her on his old, broken phone from 2024 (before we were together). It feels like a recurring pattern.
I’ve been devastated since Wednesday, but I’ve been hiding my feelings. We just finished our final exams, and he’s been suffering from burnout for a year. I promised him I’d support him and "move past this" so he could focus on his tests. I didn't want to add more weight to his shoulders.
But now that the exams are over, the pain is hitting me full force. I feel like there’s a crack in my heart that won’t heal. He’s usually honest, and he got angry when I questioned his integrity, but I’m struggling to trust his explanation.
Am I overreacting because it’s "just photos"? Or is it valid to feel betrayed because she isn't an anonymous performer, but a real person he knows? I’m going through a hard time mentally myself and I feel so lost in my thoughts. I would really appreciate some outside perspective.