How do you deal with structure and depression
Hi everyone,
I’m currently in a PhD program in Wisconsin, but I grew up in Southie/Boston, so the cultural shift has been a lot more difficult than I expected. I’ve been struggling to fit in socially, and my lab feels pretty cliquey. I’m 35, and honestly, I feel too old to get pulled into lab drama or try to force myself into dynamics that already feel closed off.
Lately, I’ve been trying to pull myself out of a depression, and I’m hoping that rebuilding some structure might help. I don’t have roommates or a partner here, so the isolation has been getting heavier. It’s also starting to affect my research, which makes me feel even worse because I know I’m not functioning at the level I’m capable of.
Before moving here, I used to run 3 miles a day. Now, most nights I can’t even bring myself to drive to the gym. I know getting back into a routine would probably help, but I’m having a hard time getting started when everything feels so heavy.
For anyone who has gone through depression or isolation during grad school, how did you rebuild structure when you had no motivation? Did you start with exercise, work routines, social plans, therapy, or something else? I’m not necessarily looking for a perfect fix — I’m just trying to find a realistic first step so I don’t keep spiraling.