u/EchidnaOdd1881

I 19M Grew up ugly or at least I was never apart of the beauty standards for most of my life. This isn’t some kind of self deprecating post, I’ve been able to make friends get, be in relatively successful relationships, and currently I’m certainly not the ugly duck I was back then. I’ve been complimented a number of times during my life, flirted with by women and even some gay men. All and all I’m doing much better still never approached a girl before in public. I’ve had female friends tell me that I’m overthinking to just be nice like I usually am but it’s honestly horrifying. My fear isn’t that I’ll be called a “creep” or anything just that I’ll be embarrassed in-front of everyone in a place full of first impressions. If anyone honestly has any tips I’d be so thankful I’ll do an update when I come back from summer break

Growing up I wasn’t an ugly kid but I was bullied for my appearance. I think growing up with that and a family that believed giving too many compliments would lead to a big ego. I didn’t have much confidence in my appearance. Honestly, until I was 17 I’d said I thought I was pretty ugly. And if I did have a gf during that time, under 17, I thought they’d leave me to be with a better, more attractive guy. Even when I used to get compliments they’d be from my friends and I’d think they’re just being nice and a good friend. But ever since I’ve turned 18 I’ve changed my mindset and view on myself, but going my whole life thinking I’m unattractive and anything I’ve gotten was just petty has really messed me up too where I’m still not sure if I’m attractive. I’ve heard all the compliments by now “If I looked like you I’d have ten girlfriends” “If I were younger id be your wife( from older women)” but in my day-to-day, I get no attention from anyone those compliments are rare, few and far between and I'm a firm believer that confidence with no proof is a lie (ex: if someone has confidence they can drive a car but never been behind a wheel) so why would I have any confidence I could do things without doing so in the past. This was really just a mindless rant while I made something to eat. Sorry if it's off topic at times.

I just wanna read other people’s stories on how they go to where they are. I’ll tell mine:

All my life I’ve been a skinny kid, so skinny you could wrap your hand around my legs like a cup. I felt like just another corn on the cob like nothing was special about me. So at 16 I bought my first gym membership at Planet Fitness, the biggest mistake of my life to waste that much money on something when I didn’t have a means to get there consistently but I had the heart. College came around and they had a free gym and I’ve been going ever since just so I don’t have to be that skinny kid anymore.