u/Economy-Mulberry758

I currently attend a small d3 liberal arts college and just finished my sophomore year. I play a sport, but have barely played the last two years and wasn’t awarded the starting spot. My coach hasn’t been very transparent with me as to why and is a bit condescending about it when i ask him about it, giving me vague answers and feedback. I wonder if favoritism has a factor in it too. I still enjoy my team for the most part and have made several friends outside of sports, and have tried to lean and invest into them more than my teammates. Sometimes they make me feel like an outsider and an idiot, leave me out of things, and are frankly just cliquey. It’s a very small school, so think of it as high school 2.0 (only it isn’t if that makes sense). I still feel very dissatisfied. I love the people and my program, I do like being on a team, being far away from home, but there’s always that dissatisfaction and disconnect sometimes. Like will I ever play, will I ever fit in, is this really meant for me, that sort of thing. I am seriously considering transferring back to my hometown university, a much larger institution (big 10 for context). I recently got accepted into their prestigious program for my major, and its like college inside of a college. They offer my sport as club, but theres no guarantee I could play let alone make the team. I also hate that I live basically 5 minutes away from there. But it’s a vast place and city, and I already know lots of friends who go there, have gone, and are attending there next fall. It’s another opportunity to start over i guess, but i don’t know if i’ll be better off? I invested so much of myself into my school and team, I almost want to stay to prove myself that I tried, whereas if I leave, the question will always be in the back of my mind - what if i went back and kept trying? If I stay, maybe this year will get better and maybe I’ll work hard enough to play more or even start? This sounds very dramatic, but I honestly feel very lost. I’ve made a pros and cons list, I’ve talked to my family and friends, I’ve prayed over it, hell I’ve even flipped a coin. I honestly didn’t want to make a post on reddit, but I‘m honestly out of ideas. I don’t expect this to blow up either so even one person‘s advice would help. Thanks

I currently attend a small d3 liberal arts college and just finished my sophomore year. I play a sport, but have barely played the last two years and wasn’t awarded the starting spot. My coach hasn’t been very transparent with me as to why and is a bit condescending about it when i ask him about it, giving me vague answers and feedback. I wonder if favoritism has a factor in it too. I still enjoy my team for the most part and have made several friends outside of sports, and have tried to lean and invest into them more than my teammates. Sometimes they make me feel like an outsider and an idiot, leave me out of things, and are frankly just cliquey. It’s a very small school, so think of it as high school 2.0 (only it isn’t if that makes sense). I still feel very dissatisfied. I love the people and my program, I do like being on a team, being far away from home, but there’s always that dissatisfaction and disconnect sometimes. Like will I ever play, will I ever fit in, is this really meant for me, that sort of thing. I am seriously considering transferring back to my hometown university, a much larger institution (big 10 for context). I recently got accepted into their prestigious program for my major, and its like college inside of a college. They offer my sport as club, but theres no guarantee I could play let alone make the team. I also hate that I live basically 5 minutes away from there. But it’s a vast place and city, and I already know lots of friends who go there, have gone, and are attending there next fall. It’s another opportunity to start over i guess, but i don’t know if i’ll be better off? I invested so much of myself into my school and team, I almost want to stay to prove myself that I tried, whereas if I leave, the question will always be in the back of my mind - what if i went back and kept trying? If I stay, maybe this year will get better and maybe I’ll work hard enough to play more or even start? This sounds very dramatic, but I honestly feel very lost. I’ve made a pros and cons list, I’ve talked to my family and friends, I’ve prayed over it, hell I’ve even flipped a coin. I honestly didn’t want to make a post on reddit, but I‘m honestly out of ideas. I don’t expect this to blow up either so even one person‘s advice would help. Thanks

I currently attend a small d3 liberal arts college and just finished my sophomore year. I play a sport, but have barely played the last two years and wasn’t awarded the starting spot. My coach hasn’t been very transparent with me as to why and is a bit condescending about it when i ask him about it, giving me vague answers and feedback. I wonder if favoritism has a factor in it too. I still enjoy my team for the most part and have made several friends outside of sports, and have tried to lean and invest into them more than my teammates. Sometimes they make me feel like an outsider and an idiot, leave me out of things, and are frankly just cliquey. It’s a very small school, so think of it as high school 2.0 (only it isn’t if that makes sense). I still feel very dissatisfied. I love the people and my program, I do like being on a team, being far away from home, but there’s always that dissatisfaction and disconnect sometimes. Like will I ever play, will I ever fit in, is this really meant for me, that sort of thing. I am seriously considering transferring back to my hometown university, a much larger institution (big 10 for context). I recently got accepted into their prestigious program for my major, and its like college inside of a college. They offer my sport as club, but theres no guarantee I could play let alone make the team. I also hate that I live basically 5 minutes away from there. But it’s a vast place and city, and I already know lots of friends who go there, have gone, and are attending there next fall. It’s another opportunity to start over i guess, but i don’t know if i’ll be better off? I invested so much of myself into my school and team, I almost want to stay to prove myself that I tried, whereas if I leave, the question will always be in the back of my mind - what if i went back and kept trying? If I stay, maybe this year will get better and maybe I’ll work hard enough to play more or even start? This sounds very dramatic, but I honestly feel very lost. I’ve made a pros and cons list, I’ve talked to my family and friends, I’ve prayed over it, hell I’ve even flipped a coin. I honestly didn’t want to make a post on reddit, but I‘m honestly out of ideas. I don’t expect this to blow up either so even one person‘s advice would help. Thanks