u/EconomyAd3866

I’m hoping to get some advice. I have been married for 30 years to a man I love with my whole heart. We’ve raised two amazing children who are on their own paths and are thriving in their chosen fields.

My problem is how I feel my husband sees me as less than a whole human - as if I’m only worth his left overs. He constantly complains about money but does nothing to help economize. My complaints

1. He refuses to use an entire role of toilet paper, leaving about an 1/8 of a roll unused and just sitting on the back of the toilet or counter. If I didn’t use it, there would be hundreds. He does the same with tissues, shampoo, soap, toothpaste, and even snacks.
2. He is beyond picky with underwear. More than 100 pairs in his drawer. Some he wore once and declared inferior. I have two pairs of women’s underwear. I have taken to just wearing his rejects to help offset cost.
3. He never cooks for me and complains and makes snide remarks to his friends when I don’t cook. Last week I got home from work at 8:30 pm and he was still sitting in his work clothes waiting for me to prepare his supper. I asked if he had fed the dogs and cats- he hadn’t. So, I tended to then made a bowl of cereal and went to bed. I usually do prepare supper as well as his breakfast, lunch and snack for the workday to follow.
4. He Never puts a dirty dish in the dishwasher or empties one. He never washes laundry, folds or puts away. No matter how long it can stay in a pile on the couch.
5. He is always angry. Won’t help with any chores, finding them too boring.
   And 6. A few months ago, he was pretty drunk and initiated sex. He just went on and on about how he should have not been such a loser when he was single and banged a lot of women. He also likes to complain to his friends that he never gets laid.
   I know this is a petty list. I know what it means, and I know the comments that will come will say he’s having an affair, or is just ready to leave me. My heart is breaking knowing we don’t have the partnership we used to. I asked him last week why he’s so mean to me and he said it is because we don’t have enough sex. I love sex, I just don’t find the man I described above as very sexy.
   Please, gentle readers am I being a petty, spiteful, grudge holding wife that needs to let it go, or do I have some real genuine issues?