My husband 33(M) and I 27(F) have been married for a year. He is addicted to fyentinal for more the ten year on and off and have been rehab like 4 times. He is functioning he goes to the methodone clinic and he is " trying" to get better. We just found out he has low t because of drug use and has taken a toll on are marriage. We work together and love together but half the time he is locked up in the bathroom or playing games. For the past couple months he not sleeping In bed with me and sleeps on the couch. We haven't had sex for 3 years and we cuddle and stuff but I don't know if he wants to get better or not or if he losing attraction to me. Any advice would be great. On the bright side he is open to recovery ideas and has been going to therapy.

What do you you think about secret of happy married life?

My wife [48f] and I [39f] are struggling. We we’ve been together a total of 10 yrs now official on August 5th. But we had a 10 month separation from sept 2024 to July 2025 because I basically had a mental breakdown. I’d told her 2 yrs prior that I was struggling mentally and she told me to deal with it myself and from there it just went even more down hill. I am not perfect I was having struggles of my own with being a better person I am highly ADHD and have emotional issues when I feel things I can get passionate in response to them by just getting louder and just trying to explain it till I’ve gone blue in the face basically (don’t worry I’m working on it) but Ike never violent.
Well my wife’s niece [now 26f] was causing a lot of issues and instead of my wife having my back she would lie a lot and do the complete opposite of what her and I had talked about and just not tell me till I discovered it. Including when we bought our house moving her into a room I told my wife I wanted for either a baby room or my plant room till the baby comes and even tho I told her no I didn’t want the niece moving into that room she still did it with her.

Well when we got back together everything was going good until the same issues started creeping back up with the niece. She was coming in between my wife she was coming into our room like it was hers and she was always around even when it was the only time my wife and I had together. Then came the phone issue. The niece told my wife that I had read her messages and without my wife even talking to me she took me off the Face ID, when my wife later asked me to do something on her phone I asked her why she’d taken me off and she said it was because she thought her password was to long. Then a week or two goes by and I help her again and I once again ask why she took me off her Face ID that I knew she didn’t have to change the Face ID to change her password what’s going on. She finally told me the truth and asked if I’d gone on it which I didn’t because I believe everyone has a right to talk crap on their phone if they want to and if I go looking for it then I’m just looking for issues. Well apparently the niece told her there’s proof with a receipt which neither of them knew what they were talking about because when you look if someone sent money to you it doesn’t make a receipt of you looking at it (the niece was suppose to be sending me the money for rent and instead as a way of defiance sent it to my wife’s, which I’d only pulled down the notifications to make sure she’d actually sent the money but did not open my wife’s phone). So that happens and then just a bunch of other things along the same lines.

So when my wife and I got back together she informed me she felt she was poly and I was fine with it, it actually intrigued me because I’d never thought about it. I was a bit shocked at first not going to lie but unfortunately my wife if someone mentions something to her she generally wants to try it out and a month before we’d gotten back together she met someone on a dating app that was poly.

So with everything happening with the niece including her blaming me for her being bulimic which then she informed me my wife told her to do it. And the other niece that lives with us having her own struggles. Plus I do school and two jobs it was just to much and I was overwhelmed and I told her that. I told her I didn’t know if I could handle everything and thought maybe if we pause the poly and she were to focus on us and try to fix the lying and saying one thing and doing another we could restart it once we’re back on more stable turf because I was feeling extremely unsafe in the situation. She had a hard time with it but I laid it out easily for her that I know I can’t do all this so I’m just letting you know we may have to discuss us separating if we can’t fix things.

So ultimately she told me she would pause the poly which she wanted to stay in contact with the other person who’d she only met maybe 3-4 times and text 2-3 times a day with them (it was a long distance thing). Which I said if you stay in contact how is that a pause and how would that not be unfair to you and the other person by being able to talk but not be able to see each other. Now when we did the pause I never expected them to break up I thought I’d be a small pause (unsure of when it would actually be back because that depended on her and her working on us).
So next couples counseling she said she completely agreed and that the talking was going to stop as well but that she just wanted to be able to get updates about a health scare which I completely agreed to. And our therapist suggested her telling me when the other partner messaged since there is trust issues. Which she also agreed to. She tried to get into Facebook and all that but the therapist and I agreed that it was being way to nitpicking.

Well a month later we’re driving home from my parents and I see she got a message on the car screen from the other partner so I wait like 15 mins to see if she’s going to say anything and then I calmly say babe I saw she messaged and I’m a little disappointed you didn’t say anything. She said I’m sorry I kinda panicked and hoped you hadn’t seen it.
Now I’m confused. So I’m like but we had this talk and I just wish you’d of done what you said because it would have helped our trust issues a lot.
Well something doesn’t seem right so I’m like is that the only time. And she proceeds to tell me that she’s messaged 3 times today and it’s only because she misses her (my wife) and that she didn’t check it it’s just happened and again she panicked.

Once again my spidey senses are saying hmmmm and I said okay I get that I’m just super disappointed. But can I see your phone for a sec please I won’t look at your messages they are private and I respect that. So she hands me her phone and I got to recently deleted and she’d deleted 2000 text from their chat and a few was from that day.

Come to find out she never stopped talking to her and she’s been lying to us both the entire time.
She said she still wants to be with me but does want to still be with the other person I said okay well you have to tell her and she’s like no no no and I’m like this is not a negotiation. So I message the other person after she told me she had told her to double check and just found out more lies.

So I’m concerned about my wife like the lying is not out of character in small things but this is insane. Like I don’t know how she thought this was going to go.
So I’m wondering if it’s menopause or what the hell is it. She said she doesn’t know her “authentic self”.
I’m like wtf does that mean we’ve been together 10 yrs and you are 48 yrs old wtf.
Then the next day she’s like hey got invited to go hang out with my friends you want to go.

wtf……

I’m like you know you just hurt two people you claim to care about and you now just want to go hang out with your friends like nothing has happened like you need to figure your shit out not hang out with your damn friends.

Soooooo wtf people help me out here any suggestions, comments or wtf for me! tl;dr

I do not know what to do to help her or even help myself any suggestions would be very appreciated.

Hi Im [33F] and my husband is [45M]

So we just had a further discussion about our intimacy life (sex) earlier. When I said further because we talked about this the other night about its been bothering me that husband is only having sex with me during weekend and its I felt like its a chore for him every weekend and I dont feel like its spontaneous anymore.

We had this problem before where he perks off a lot and watch porn. He stopped for awhile like 1 month and was able to finish inside me for that month.

Now I really pushed him why were still having this problem. He gave first a reason then pushed him to say it.

He told me that we need to lose some weight.

I clarified so that's it? That's why because I gained weight.

And he didn't say anything. I know truth hurts.

I JUST NEED AN ADVICE that besides me feeling like I dont want to eat anymore and locked in. Idk should I move forward?

He told me he love me for me and who I am, but I do t feel that way that he does. Truly.

BTW I was a medium and it depends on the clothing brand Im a medium or large. Im 180 pounds.

My husband is also overweight like 300 pounds. But I love him so much and if I can have him everyday I would.!

We’ve been married for over a year and i just feel so full of love.

Maybe its the k dramas or the wine and sushi but him sleeping beside me while i enjoy some me time, i cant help but think about how much i love him.

I cant help do anything for him, because of him i am fearless, his love makes me feel invincible.

I have never felt more confident and more beautiful in my life.

The fact that i knew i somehow knew baffles me. On our first date i told him i’d marry him. And we are and it was 8 months after our first date and we’re still going strong.

I just love him so much so so much. Even when he’s working, asleep or being stinky as long as its him.

I hope that everyone who wants to find their life partner or who has them already, i hope this kind of love finds you.

With him, everything is sparkles and rainbows even with the good the bad and the ugly.

Im 53 married 26 years and my wife gives me sex once a month. Its like she must count the weeks or months cause thats all it is. And when she announces she's horny and we might do it tonight it feels like a gift like I am being rewarded. Any other time of the month all of my advances my attention my affection gets turned away brushed away literally. Then once a month a get a bit.

What makes it even worst is I get so bloody excited and horny once I slide inside her pussy I cum within 30 seconds and I feel dissapointed to not get the experience I imagine in my mind 24/7.

What do I do, leave her.

If I F25 am walking back to my car and a man M30 parks the same exact car next to me (doesn’t see me coming back or know me) and when they get out of their car as I’m coming back to my car we briefly pass each other he notices we have the same car and he says “ha same car!” And I laugh. Is that wrong of me? As a married woman. Does this mean I am “easy” because I laughed at his comment. It was a friendly laugh. Nothing else was said and I got in my car and drove off. I was told that is too friendly and I might as well have just gotten his number.

Little back story: my husband & I moved where we currently live about 6 years ago. His entire family lives here & mine lives 2 states over. I see my family 2-3 times a year but we were extremely close before I moved.
I fell pregnant with our 3rd kid as soon as we moved here & didn’t have a chance to make connections at my job at the time. Postpartum was rough. I was always missing my family & struggled to make mom friends.

I began working when my son was a year or so & started to make connections & hanging out a little(every few months) but it wasn’t until the next job where I made strong connections with some friends. My son was getting older. He’s now almost 5. Luckily I can say I have 3 good friends but none of them know each other so I typically hang out with them separately. There’s been a few months where I’ve hung out with friends almost weekly & my spouse once told me “that is not normal for married women with children” specifically the frequency I guess.

I understand that my husband & I need to communicate & set expectations that we are both comfortable with.
But im curious, what is the norm for most couples?

Hi fellow Redditors I’m writing this with bit of frustration seeking help and advice from guys who might have gone through the same situation after my wife got pregnant our sex drastically decreased. after the birth of the baby everything was a struggle and we time and intercourse was out of the equation. After the initial 6 months our sex life didn’t changed much shes not interested in it anymore and now the kid is 1 and half years old still whenever i mention sex its ends up in fight. Even if we start having sex its like a one way thing she just want to get it over with i even had thought about cheating trust me i had opportunities should i do that. This is a serious post. Because guys dont talk about these stuff or give advise in the real world so here i am i need your advice from the people who went through this HOW CAN I GET THE SPARK BACK

My (30m) partner (30f) is incredibly kind, almost too kind, especially to strangers. She’s very understanding of my needs and is both educated and successful. She’s also very attractive, and our sex life is great.

However, there’s a financial imbalance: she earns only about one-third of what I do, our lifestyle mismatch creeps into our relationship. I’ve purchased the home we live in, and I handle all the maintenance, including bills, taxes, and almost everything else. She helps with what she can (it’s not about money). I also cook and clean, and I’m happy to cook for her. I also plan all our trips. I’m a lead manager in a large company, working 9-hour days. But she seems to do everything just for herself. For example, she only puts the dishes in the dishwasher if she eats something, while I do it for both of us. Since I eat meat and she’s vegetarian, our meals are mostly separate.

I generally enjoy living with her, but when I think about it, she feels more like a good friend or roommate with benefits than a partner. I’m not sure how to put it, but she doesn’t feel like a partner to me. Honestly, if it weren’t for the sex, I’d be happier on my own. I feel like I have more to do being with her, and I could do most of what I do with my friends.

And we fight a lot. She constantly feels like I’m taking advantage of her. While she has past trauma and has built up walls, it feels less to do with that but more to do with the 2026 idea of feminism that social media portrays (not speaking against gender equality). I play a part in those fights too, I’m fully aware of it, admit my fault and generally try to avoid my mistakes except for some of my conditioned patterns.

Am I expecting too much from this relationship? Am I just making excuses to break up?

Natural next step for us is to propose. I’m neither psyched nor petrified about it. Don’t tell me that I “need” to be psyched. We have been together a long time so it doesn’t feel like a special event to me. But I feel like I’m wasting both of our time.

Hey everyone, I (21F) got married to my husband (23M) recently and I’ve loved the experience. Some backstory to this post, I am not a dog person, I never have been and I’ve never been able to come to a point where I’ve genuinely wanted to be around a dog. My husband of course, is a dog person at heart and has an 11 year old border collie who clearly means a lot to him.

Early on in dating, I was always open about the fact dogs did not impress me and I couldn’t ever see myself bonding with one. I was introduced to my husband’s dog before we started dating and my rules around dogs are simply, I’m good with them existing around me as long as they don’t invade my personal space. So this would be, having to be right next to me without me having a choice and needing to constantly have love from me when they’ve received it from their primary caretaker their whole life.

My husband understood this and dating went on.

Back in January I moved in to make things easy to plan the wedding and I took over being the dog’s caregiver while my then fiancé (now husband) was at work. This is not a problem to me but again, I don’t enjoy dogs so the care giving was simply feeding, letting it outside and cleaning up his fur, even playing frisbee with it and sometimes taking him on a walk (I have however stopped walking him, because he’s reactive to other dogs and I don’t need that stress on me. I’ve decided that is my husband’s problem.)

I started to notice that my husband was expecting a bit more from me with the dog, like actually petting and pretending I liked it. But it’s just not possible for me to feel anything more than toleration towards his dog and it was explained again that I did not enjoy giving that personal space to the dog.

Fast forward to being married and the dog was quickly moved out of the bedroom to sleep in the hallway in front of our door, shut. This caused a bit of an argument between my Husband and I but with the dog in the bedroom I was being woken up constantly and it was starting to effect my relationship not just with the dog, but my husband as well. So, my husband ultimately agreed for my sake.

I’ve taken notice that when I’m home alone with the dog, he leaves me alone for the most part. But as soon as my husband comes home, suddenly, the dog needs to be near me 24/7. Following me everywhere I go, laying next to me by the couch and now has even gone so far to always have to lay next to my side of the bed on the floor only IF my husband is in the room with me and I’m in bed.

The bedroom is a personal space for me and I do not enjoy the dog being in it, therefore, if the dog decides to sleep on my side of the bed floor, I nudge it until it gets up and goes to my husbands side. Well, today it got up and then would come back 3 more times. I continued to nudge and redirect him, and once again, I noticed my husband started to get irritated. That irritation gets to be quite normal when I tell the dog to move when it’s too close to me, but it’s irritating for me as well because the dog never wants to be by me unless my husband is home and my husband is the one that loves it.

My husband and I get into fights every once in a while where he wants me to show the dog more affection and basically rule the house and go where it wants, but I want my husband to understand that I emotionally do not connect with the dog past taking care of it.

I know it’s not possible for me to ever love his dog, but I love my husband and I wish there were just more understood boundaries on my end. I know and worry it’ll continue to get to be a bigger problem in our marriage and more fights will arise. Not enough where it’ll cause a serious rift in our relationship, because my husband and I are quick to talk things out and apologize, but it is a draining topic to disagree on all the time. Has anyone ever seen the light at the end of the tunnel on this before?

This question arose while talking to a 38-year-old "friend." We've known each other online for a couple of months, and I'd like to share my story with you.

He has a wife and a daughter who's already in school. He says he would have separated from his wife long ago if it weren't for their autistic daughter and his wife's health problems.

We text each other for a couple of hours every day, mostly about art, books, and life. But he always texts me, "You're my vacation," "I shouldn't say this, but you're very beautiful," "Your future husband is very lucky."

Do you think I'm taking my man away from his family, and am I doing the right thing by continuing to communicate with him?

we have been married for close to 30 years, our sex life hasnt been the greatest but over all she is a good wife and mother. For the last few years she has been going through menopause which makes our sex life non existant. But lately I have found that is she obsessed with her phone. She is always on it, even late at night when I am in bed, she even takes it with her in the bathroom. She has recently been discussing hormone treatments to increase her libito, she has also been interested in psychedelics and trying those along with some over the counter aphrodisiacs (if thats a thing??) Thoughts? Am I over thinking this ?

The title pretty much covers it. My wife and I have been married for almost 6 years. We’ve had our daughter for two. I love my daughter. She’s the most important thing in the world to me. My wife and I have never had a perfect marriage however it feels like it was happier before we had a child. I don’t blame our daughter for the state of our marriage now, but I do think the added responsibility has put a strain on our marriage rather than strengthening it. I don’t want to divorce my wife because I don’t want to damage my daughter. But these days it feels like my wife and I get mad at each other a lot and each time we have a fight. I feel more numb each time at the end of it. I want the best for my wife and her family, but I don’t feel emotionally invested anymore. All I care about is my kid.

I am a 34F that has been married for 14 years and I found out my husband was on dating websites for over a year. He contacted escorts and was paying to talk to other women but he swears he never met with anyone and I am choosing to believe him.

My question is:
Can a man love you even while he is cheating on you?

Can someone truly stop this kind of thing and want to be with you and in love with you because they got caught and you staying showed them you really do love them?

i need help. My husband 25M and I 23F have been married for 4 years. I’m posting because I genuinely need outside opinions and I don’t really have anyone to talk to.

I recently found out that my husband had been talking to other women online for months behind my back. Asking to video call and flirting with them and even saving lots and lots of porn across tiktok and instagram. The very first thing i found was porn a year ago on instagram and i cried to him and told him to stop, and he promised to delete everything but now i found the online conversations. It wasn’t just one conversation or one bad decision. It was ongoing, and the hardest part is that there was a lot of lying involved. I would ask questions and be reassured that nothing was happening, only to later find out more.

My husband says he wants to fix things, but I honestly don’t know what to believe anymore because trust feels shattered.

For people who stayed after online cheating/emotional cheating: did it actually get better? What did rebuilding trust look like? How did you know they were truly sorry and not just sorry they got caught?

And for people who left: what was the moment that made you realize you were done?

I’m anxious to leave but scared to stay only for him to do worse in the future and i regret it

tl;dr husband online cheating/flirting got caught. stuck not knowing what path to choose

Please tell me what you’d do;

My wife and I are expecting our second child together in October. We both have two girls each from our previous marriages and we have a one year old son together. Most days I feel so much love and look forward to our future together. But then there are days like yesterday and today that she treats me like absolute shit, like she hates my guts. I’m currently in our basement which is the only place in this house that I feel a small amount of belonging, yet she keeps fucking with me as I try to print stuff on our 3D printers that we use to sell stuff at our local flea market. She’s canceled multiple prints from her phone for no reason at all other than to get under my skin.

This previous Saturday, we were good. We spent the day together at the flea market, made a decent amount of money, etc. I slap her butt when I pass her, she grabs my balls as she passes me, etc. We were good and our normal selves.

Fast forward to going to bed that night, I go down on her for a good amount of time, which is something I enjoy. She has told me that I am the only person to make her cum. So for me, I love doing that to her. Afterwards, she insists one going down on me. I initially said “it’s ok, let’s go to bed” as we had an early morning ahead of us, but she insisted. She’s pregnant, she’s got a lot on her plate everyday, she does so much for our family, so I don’t ever expect anything in return. But she insisted so I agreed.

To be frank, she is the only woman that has a very made me orgasm from oral, so I normally don’t last long. I was enjoying it, but all of a sudden, her tooth nicked me just under the base of the tip and it was very painful. I tried to push through but it was so sensitive and uncomfortable so I suggested having sex instead. It was just as uncomfortable and painful, so I eventually lost my erection. She was upset, and understandably quiet afterwards. I have had surgeries in the past that have messed with my ability to stay hard so it’s been an issue before as well. But I’ve made it a point to make changes to mitigate this problem.

As I said, she’s pregnant and it’s probably hormones and such, but she constantly says things that are demeaning to her looks or that I don’t think she’s beautiful, etc.

She is so far from reality here. I think she is the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen. I find myself just admiring her at every opportunity. She is THE most gorgeous woman I’ve ever seen. I am 1000% in love with her. I’d have to write many, many posts to articulate how her and I came to be.

So the day after me being nicked, I’m at the flea market trying to sell our products. Each time I use the bathroom, my dick is literally bleeding. I’m thinking to myself, that I should be the one that is mad, but I’m not. All I want to do is ensure that she doesn’t feel like I am and explain to her that I know it wasn’t done on purpose. So I leave it alone.

When I get home, she’s continuing ignoring me. I try to talk to her, she won’t have it. In front of her girls and my daughter, she completely treats me like I don’t exist.

So now 48 hours later, I’m still feeling this way. She’s enjoying her time without me which is probably the most hurtful thing to me. For me, I have been deployed for six months here and there, and in all of those months, I only thought of being reunited with her. I feel like she hates my guts and I have no idea how to go about this.

Tl;dr, my wife bite my dick and is mad that I lost an erection.

We have been together for 2 years and this is always a question in my head related to intimacy. Everytime we do it he never goes down on me he did a few times about 4 times since we got tg but he always asks for oral from me which i dont mind but everytime i ask him why he would not go down he would say he doesn’t like the taste btw i am a very clean hygenic person i shower everyday also a lil info when he was younger he was in sort of a relationship with a guy he told me but he said it was his phase of discovering himself and he never got intimate kr anything with that guy but at that time he was in a relationship with his ex gf which he claims he was not in love with. This was in his early teens. everytime i ask him about if he is bi or whatever he says he is not and he is straight and that is why he married me but idk i am confused i just want him to be honest i am very supportive and i love him.

we have been married for close to 30 years, our sex life hasnt been the greatest but over all she is a good wife and mother. For the last few years she has been going through menopause which makes our sex life non existant. But lately I have found that is she obsessed with her phone. She is always on it, even late at night when I am in bed, she even takes it with her in the bathroom. She has recently been discussing hormone treatments to increase her libito, she has also been interested in psychedelics and trying those along with some over the counter aphrodisiacs (if thats a thing??) Thoughts? Am I over thinking this ?

Urgent advice needed!

My wife and I have been together for over 15 years. We have kids, loans, and so on. Of course, after so many years together, our sexual life has slowed down, and sometimes I feel like she just doesn’t want me at all anymore. I feel unwanted and lonely in our marriage. I offered her to go to couples counseling, but she denied and said that she is happy with our marriage and that we have everything we even wanted. When I tell her that I want to have sex and have passion in our lives, she tells me that we are not 20 anymore and that I should stop being naive..

I know this is not an excuse, but my friend from work suggested I get myself on Tinder and see what happens. I never wanted to cheat on my wife, but of course I got Tinder and started to chat with some women. I never met any of them, but to be honest, I like talking to new women and feeling that I am wanted and needed.

Anyway, yesterday I came home from work, and my wife was shouting at me and threatening divorce because she saw my Tinder page on some Dotheyswipe website.

Now I don’t know how to prove to her that I did not cheat and did not even meet anyone. I really want to work things out between us and she knows I tried, but now she tells me she will never be able to trust me again and still refuses to go to couples counseling.

What should I do? Any advice on how to save our marriage and our sex life?