Different Love Language
My wife and I have been married for over 10 years and we consistently have an issue around physical affection. I am very physically affectionate and she nearly never initiates physical touch, and is very slow to respond to me touching her. What does this look like? She doesn't initiate a hug, kiss, etc. She has never walked by me and pinched my butt. She has never spontaniously wanted to make out or make love anywhere. If I make a flirtacious gesture towards her, it takes several attempts to get her to respond physically. She's repeatedly told me that physicallity isn't her love language and that instead she does things for me, like cooking meals, etc, as demonstrations of love. When we met and were dating, I definitely noticed that she was much more reserved than my previous partners, but I attributed that to her inexperience and expected that she would continue to become more expressive as she became more comfortable. That time has not come.
I'm not sure what to do next. She says she is always open to whatever I want to do, but it doesn't feel reciprocal or interesting for someone to be passively enjoying physical love while not adding to the experience or enthusiasm. She continues to be a caring and engaged partner in life, but I feel complete disatisfaction with our physical love. The relationship feels like a deep friendship.