second abortion after a year. am i an awful person?
I am a 22F with my 23M boyfriend, been together about two years now.
I’ll keep this short. My first abortion happened while I was on birth control pills. Been taking hormonal pills since I was 11 for health reasons. Missed one pill (rare) took two the next day. Boom. I got an abortion about a quarter/ middle of 2025.
Been with my same boyfriend, switched to condoms—Got pregnant still. Horrible luck I must say. I truly don’t know what happened. I track my cycle religiously as well. I don’t know if one broke, or anything like that. We’ve been fine since my procedure last year!
I feel awful as someone who truly wants to be a mother someday, but I’m not even finished with my Bachelors degree, we both can’t afford a child, and quite frankly I cannot bear the idea of being pregnant at this point in my life. My abortion is scheduled for next week.
Considering the arm implant, I’m not sure I want to opt for the IUD considering my partner’s size.. as well as the fact that I’ve honestly felt significantly better mentally since being off the hormonal pills. I know the copper IUD is non hormonal but again i’ve heard plenty about the uncomfortableness.
I’m not necessarily feeling guilt for the prospect of removing the cells in my body, more just the fact that this is the SECOND time, despite precautions, despite both of our efforts. Just feels awful to be in this situation after vowing this wouldn’t happen ever again.
Thoughts? Advice? Any experience with other Birth control methods?
Edit: All your responses have been so helpful. I appreciate everyone for replying. Helps me in this journey of sadness :,)