My mother is a goddamn child
For context, I'm stuck living with my mother since it's impossible to have financial stability for me apparently: I had received PhD offers both in the US and the UK and in both cases they were suddenly rescinded over night because of funding cuts, now I'm stuck doing infinite rounds of interviews that end up in rejections or straight up ghosting.
I can't stand my mother anymore, she's the stupidest person I know. She treats me like shit even though I am basically her fucking personal chef (cook for me, might as well cook for two but it would be fucking nice to even hear a small "thank you" every once in a while), she goes out with men just to dump them the day after and yell about it on the phone for DAYS. Now she started purposely eating stuff she's intolerant to so she can say she feels ill after, but somehow I'm the exaggerated dumb fuck of the house because I avoid food and other stuff I'm severely allergic to (at the end of the day, she's still surprised when I remind her I have asthma). She calls me a bitch on a regular basis but she laughs it off because "it's just the way she talks". I've never been called a bitch by anyone else. And when I'm sick, she loses her mind! She's always done it because even though she put me into the world with 500+ chronic conditions, I'm at fault for being in constant pain. Recently I had the highest fever you can get for a week (ended up in the hospital), was delirious most of the time and she was somehow convinced I was the idiot because I wasn't telling her what she needed to do and I wasn't letting her sleep. I'm fucking dying here jesus Christ! Nothing is ever enough for her. She refuses to do the most basic stuff like signing official papers, going to the post office/bank, physically using her card to pay for groceries. I have to do it for her. In all of this, my room is a disgusting attic under the roof I try and keep as clean as possible but it has no heating and mold I have to regularly treat like I put it there (not mentioning the chronic insects infestations since we live in the fucking asshole of the universe in the middle of the most isolated countryside of this godforsaken country) while the rest of the house sparkles like a diamond and she gets to relax like nothing happens. I can't relax ffs.
I ate at my savings to pay for my medicines and now I can't even pay for a therapist anymore. I'm losing my mind.