My (23F) fiance (22M) keeps defending looking at other women and going to strip clubs/hooters even though I've stated my boundaries. How do you feel about these things?
My fiance and I have been together about 3 years now. In the history of our relationship he has had a problem with porn, etc. Luckily he's quit porn for me and I've felt great about us. Though, I still see him looking at other women sometimes and when I bring it up he defends it.
He says "All men do it", "I'm a man, it's in my nature" and pretty much tells me that it's normal and I'm overthinking it. I brushed it off telling myself "all men do it, oh well". Shortly after we were talking about Father's Day coming up and he mentioned Hooters. I stated that I was uncomfortable with that since in my eyes, why would you want to go somewhere to see other women? Of course he got defensive again using the same excuses as before.
Finally, just yesterday I saw a post of a man talking about how bachelorette/bachelor parties shouldn't be a "last night of freedom" and that going to strip clubs or getting strippers is wrong. I showed my fiance the video thinking that maybe he'd agree, though instead, he called the man a "pussy" and said he should "get over himself". I told him that it was wrong, at least in my eyes, and that if he was so worried about "freedom" and not being able to see other women then he shouldn't of gotten into a relationship. He laughed and brushed me off again saying "a lot of men do it" and that it was fine.
Ever since these recent conversations I can't seem to look at him the same. My sex drive has dropped and I kinda feel gross about it all. Part of me wonders if I made a mistake or if I'm seeing this whole situation wrong. If your partner had these ideas how would you feel about them? Or if you're a man, what's your opinion?
SMALL UPDATE Thank you for everyone who responded, also thank you all for explaining what a boundary is. I didn't know the meaning and I apologize for the mistake. I talked to him again about it this morning and here's what happened. First he stated that he wasn't going to go to no strip club, and he stated I had no right to be upset since he didn't go to one or anything. Understandable I guess. I said that I feel like it's wrong to defend it in some ways since it makes it feel like it's no big deal, and what happens if he's asked to go later on? Since it's ok in his eyes. He said "going to strip clubs aren't wrong, a lot of people go and they're a big thing/company. If it was wrong it wouldn't exist". At this point I don't know if bringing it up again is even worth it or if I'm now at this point overthinking it. Just still a bit unsure what to do. But thank you all again