I cut my hair the way my mom wanted, I can't fucking look in the mirror
I feel so fucking pathetic writing all this but idk what to do, I have my friend's birthday in like 30 minutes and I can't even look at myself to dress up bc I genuinely look horrible but I shouldn't be crying over this damn haircut bc c'mon I'm 17 y/o I could be more mature abt this.
I'm ftm, 17 years old, I've been trying to get my hair cut for 3 months now after cutting last year into a mullet that I swear was easily my prime, it's the best I ever felt with myself, even other people notice and would ASK when I'd get back to the mullet bc I looked good with it, and I really liked it. Thing is my mom would only let me by doing an agreement, we'd cut somewhere nice a different way before trying out the mullet bc she doesn't like it since it looks too boyish (she knows I'm trans but this is a really untouched subject in my family bc she doesn't really support it at all, and neither does my dad).
Today we went there and she suggested a shaggy cut, the thing is this shit looks genuinely terrible, I look just like how I looked back in 2022 that was NOT a good moment of mine, but I swear I had the exact same haircut and back in the day my parents would just say I look like a fucking animal, the difference is this time she wanted me to cut it this way because it's less masculine and I just feel horrible with it. I look like a girl, and I look ugly and even though I've been holding it in a ponytail so that the bangs are the only thing you see when facing me I can't get to look at myself in the mirror without crying my eyes out. I have school on Monday and I can't even see my reflection Idk how I'll get this done. I hate looking like this and the longer I stare the more feminine I look idk what to do.