AITA for cutting my mum off after she told me not to invite my dad to a dinner
I'm a 29yr old autistic male that has had a strained relationship with my mother. She divorced my step dad when I was 11 and during my teenage years she spent most of her time drinking herself to black out point. She would let my older brother drink before he was legally allowed to by grog and all his friends would hang out at our place even when my brother wasn't home.
If I ever said she shouldn't be doing this she would say I don't give a F. There were even times she would cuss out at my brother saying things like 'you fucking little shit I brought you into this world I will take you out' and if anyone called her out on her parening she would respond with ' thats just the way the world is they need to learn that' she would even get my brother to help her buy pot off of people he knew.
She constantly lied to my grandparents saying she needed money for my tutoring which i was in a public school I never had any other tutoring of the sort and saying my brother owed drug money to people when he never did cause his plug was a childhood friend of his. She also had an abusive BF who hit her and even got into fights with my brother and his friends and he even tried to SA a girl who I was friends with at school. And no matter what she would always put her BF before anyone else even me and my Brothers.
After an incident that led to my brother being arrested we were kicked out of the house we were renting so I went to live with my step dad.
Me and him have always had a good bond. He always encouraged me to do and try new things in life. He bought me my first car, he encouraged me to get my motorcycle license,he's even leaving the house to me in his will and whenever I would talk bad about my mum he would remind me that I still love her and if I didn't I wouldn't care about her at all.
Were as my mother would hold me back thinking I couldn't handle it so to speak,she never really tried to bond with me either, as long as I was in my room playing my games she didn't care.
After living with my dad for a few years we would catch up with my grandparents who were always grateful for my step dad for taking care of me. My grandpa would tell me stories about when she was young she would constantly yell at him and she even ran away when she was 15, my Da would put out posters get ads in the newspaper and the radio to spread the message. He got so desperate he eventually went to the local hells angels chapter to help him and they did. When she came back she would hit and spit on him, after that they sent her to live with my great grandmother.
I would visit mum from time to time but she would act like nothing ever happened and if I or anyone would bring up the past she would get angry and act like we're accuing her of war crimes, she would sometimes say ' I always clothed and fed you both, kept a roof over your head' like that's some kind of trump card. That's what you're supposed to do for your kids.
Recently my aunt was up for a visit and they were going to have dinner at a pub. But she told my brother not to invite my dad, which rubbed me the wrong way because whenever me and him went out we'd always try to include her,my brother and his family and even whatever BF she had at the time to come out with us.
So I went down and had the dinner, after it I would pull her aside.
" I understand why you didn't want dad here cause of your new BF but I don't understand why can't you get along with him?'. " mate you don't understand, I don't want my BF to feel uncomfortable and I would be uncomfortable with it, of he was here he would start talking and bringing up the past (which he never did at any time we were all together) you're my son and I don't want him in my life" is what she said and I told her multiple times I understand but she needs to understand that my dad has done more for me and my Brothers than she ever did and like it or not he's apart of our lives.
"I understand but dad has done more for us then you ever did" She shook her head and walked away saying " I'm not having this conversation with you " that was it for Me. "Don't worry we won't be having another conversation again than, you're dead to me" I said. "I don't care" she retorted.
I was getting ready to organise a day to catch up with her and try to remake a connection with her but after that I decided no more. I'm done with her and her lies, I've blocked her number and unfriended her on FB.
I had a talk with my eldest brother who has been through the same kind of thing I'm going through right now, he said I need to just give it some time and try talk to her again. But after all the emotional abuse, neglect and the constant lies she has done I don't think I will ever want to. So am I the bad guy in this situation??