u/Educational-Pen6984

My father has always been distant, mentally, physically. There hasn't been one day when he hasn't behaved rude. He tries to make up for it sometimes but I don't think it works. This issues sort of made me attracted to older men. Dated a couple of older guys, can't say I'm impressed. From my fictional crushes to real life crush, I liked older people. I don't know if it's validation I seek. But my ego is too high to get validated from someone. I just wanted to be taken care of I guess. Is 'babied' the right term for it? I just wished I had a good father. A father for whom I wouldn't have been so damaged, for whom my mood isn't always ruined, for whom my choices don't become terrible. I just wanted to be loved.