r/daddyissuesclub

Hello,am 18M with daddy issues I wanted to ask are all old men that want younger guys pedos or are unsafe. Because I like men significantly older than me and it feels like most of them are red flags. Like why would an old man want someone younger than them? Like younger guys might want peace stability. But I what do older men want like why

F(17) so, I honestly need someone to talk to about this. I never had a dad or a father figure in my life, my mom raised me but she never understood that I needed a father figure in my life, even when I was little my dad tried reconnecting with her and me but she didn't let him. Now that I grew I formed daddy issues. I talk to older guys and see them, not that im proud of it I just feel safer with them and like a little girl which lead to having sex with a guy almost 20 years older then me. I regret it ever since it happened. And honestly any time I get in contact with guys I feel like I need to prove myself or something. It's hard to explain what I feel, I just want a dad but at the same time I want a daddy. I hope someone understands and has something to say either if it's an advice or just a comment.

The concept of rent a dad do you think if this existed it could’ve have gotten popular I think in Japan they have this kind of concept in many genre like family girlfriend boyfriend cuddles
I would love to have this I think it could heal me but I’m afraid to be attached too and idk if I will be comfortable

Daddy issues being sexualized is kinda sad
But I also understand
because personally all I want is to go back and be cared for like a child cuddled and heard having a high dysfunctional family since I was a child was something else but the fact that I’m craving for physical affection not by him but someone older I just can’t stand him touching me it’s irritate me he’s the present and absent father like I’m living with a roommate who try to boss us around

16F, i cannot see myself with anyone who isnt 3 years minimum older than me. I dont know what it is but i cant see any guy my age treating me the way i wanna be treated. It lowkey disgusts me because i wanna be babied and i want someone to take control not like nsfw wise but like in general if that makes sense. I want someone i can rely on and talk to and get genuine advice from. And i feel like i never get that from guys my age. I almost always end up crushing on guys way too old for me and its so bad, ofc i never make moves or anything but i cany help but lowkeu have feelings for them. Its so bad. literally whats wrong witb me??

i tried every coping method- messed up ones included. i dont know what to do anymore im giving up.
im considering SH again and im always feeling that chest heaviness and nausea and i just cant anymore.
im tired of being yelled at everyday over nothing. judged over everything. feeling like a nobody. feeling shame and guilt and frustration 24/7 because he makes me feel like such a fucking burden every second that i see him (when i do, that is). im so tired. i have nobody to text nobody to call and no coping mechanism. im scared snd concerned for my own wellbeing. this isnt even the only thing going on rn- my bpd is acting up these past few days more than usual cuz i watched as my Ex moves on from me like i never existed even though we dated for two years. i feel like every male figure in my life has either abandoned me or hated me or both. i cant keep feeling like this my heart hurts im so tired im sooo tired. the creepy coping mechanisms helped for a few days but now i feel even worse.

I wanna be someones secret like a nice daddy who is in his early 30s and has a gf or wife and I want it to be long term 😭 I am a needy girl who needs her daddy forever I need to be taken care of (F25!)

i don’t know if this is the right place to post this lol but i’ve realized i’ve always felt safer talking to older men than guys my own age.

guys at college are fun for like… 5 minutes, but half of them can barely hold a conversation without acting like they’re in a frat competition 😭

meanwhile i’ll randomly end up talking to someone 15+ years older than me and suddenly i feel calm, listened to, understood, taken care of??? idk how to explain it.

even my friends make fun of me because apparently i have “the most obvious daddy issues ever” 💀

maybe it’s because older men feel more patient and emotionally stable? maybe i just like feeling protected for once.

or maybe i’m just insane lol.

pls tell me i’m not the only girl like this.

me and this guy have been talking for a while now, so much so we’ve attempted to plan a few dates but unfortunately have had to cancel multiple times. i really liked him. for background, i really struggle with depression and self harm, my arms are visibly covered in scars. i go to an establishment this boy works at, his mom owns it. she doesn’t want him to date anyone who goes there. he tried to talk to him mom about it and one of the first things she said to him was “you know she cuts herself, right?” that really bothered him (this was a couple nights ago.) i saw him again today and everything seemed totally chill. he called my friend afterwards talking about how he “can’t do it” because i cut myself. he debated even continuing to be my friend. this is the second time ive scared someone away because of my mental state. i’m not even that upset our romantic relationship is over, im more upset that he just suddenly doesn’t want me because i’m mentally ill. he said he’d intentionally stop inviting me to shit and texting so he doesn’t have to see me. this really makes me hate myself, but also reinforces my whole into older guys thing. someone older wouldn’t care. they’d accept me for who i am. i can’t date guys my age because they’re just not mature enough to “handle” my issues.

I was 17 when I got into a relationship with a man in his late 40s.

At the time it didn’t feel weird. It felt like relief.

My home situation was bad. My father was controlling, invasive, unpredictable. No privacy, no peace, always walking on eggshells. Nothing I did was ever enough. If I was happy, it didn’t last. He made sure of that.

So I started looking for that attention somewhere else.

And honestly, the pattern was already there way earlier. I remember being maybe 7 or 8 and sending some weird “love” message to one of my mom’s older friends. He told my parents. Nothing happened. No one asked why.

By 17 I was already wired this way.

I met this guy at a concert. He played guitar. Older, calm, attentive. He was married, had 2 children. I didn’t see that as a red flag, I took it as attention. Like finally someone sees me. So I got into it.

And I stayed for 4 long years. So much tears, anxiety, pain, being pushed aside, hidden. He never took me to the cinema, he never took me for walks, he never met my friends, we were never playful, first kiss already had motive behind it.

I traveled to see him. Waited for his calls. Took whatever time he gave me and made it enough. I adjusted everything about myself so I wouldn’t lose him.

Because in my head, losing him meant no one will ever love me.

He treated me badly. Emotionally, verbally, sometimes physically.

Still stayed.

Because leaving felt worse.

When I was crying, breaking down, needing someone to step in—no one did. Not him, not my parents. It was turned into my fault. Me being weak, stupid in love.

I was 17.

For years I didn’t even process it properly. I even treated it like something “quirky” about me.

Like wow, my first boyfriend was almost 30 years older.

Now at 34 it finally hit me that I didn’t just waste time, I also missed something I can’t go back to.

I never got to be with someone my own age and just… figure things out normally. That kind of young, simple relationship. No imbalance, no hiding, no weird dynamics.

That part is just gone. Whenever I see young blooming love in the park, in movies, or anywhere really it hurts badly, and grief takes over.

And it’s not something you can recreate later. You don’t go back and redo being 17.

If you’re in something like this right now, I get it. I really do.

Just think about what you’re trading for that feeling.

Because some things don’t come back later.

i feel like I’m sick in the head for even saying this.I wanna be loved by older men i need their attention and comfort. It sounds so childish to me like a pick me but i cant help but to feel this way. I have been deprived of this kind of comfort since young and I’m going through a time where it’s nagging me again.

I keep looking for ways to find them get them to like me but they only want sex or no real emotional connection and I’m all about that connection. Im talking to this guy he is lovely nice and respectful but he doesn’t love me and he never will.

He told me that i agreed to that and i hate that i did there is no emotion to me in his messages and it’s upsetting me. It’s selfish wanting the world to spin around you but cant i have one person to do it for me and give me attention.

Im not proud of any of this it comes with a lot of self doubt porn addiction and tough nights where i wish i was normal and could just go on without needing to be loved by someone and just be happy with being by myself.

Indeed I’m in an endless cycle thats filled with older men that don’t love me, porn thats brainwashing me or nights stressing myself out whether I’m still loveable. A a bad cycle yeah but its the only place i was able to find comfort in the slightest bit and id rather hang on to that then nothing at all.

i’m (21) kinda dating this guy (46). when i tried dating older in the past it never worked out bc they wouldn’t take me seriously but i feel like this is different bc he’s actually open to dating me. we’re hanging out tonight and we also have a nice dinner + after drinks in the city tomorrow, i’m excited.

i’m calling him “guy of the season” bc idk how long this will last.

Just like it says. He steals money, nail files, tools, and tweezers literally steals anything and everything from me. Oh, and he also likes to accidentally put bleach spots on my clothes. He hoards his own tools but needs to take from me. He never provides financially. The money he gets he spends solely on himself. He buys hot wheels and Pokémon but fuck if he could buy groceries. His mom just bought him a car. She also pays his insurance and phone and anything else he needs. He spends a lot on court costs because he can't stay out of trouble (his mom pays for most of it) he truly only cares about himself and his needs. Everything is done on his timeline. If its 2 am, he'll be the loudest he can be just out of spite. he is a compulsive liar. Everything is a lie. Everything. He hates me but im not aloud to leave because he doesn't want his kid to grow up like that but having 2 parents who hate each other in the same home is better.

Edited to add: when I was 2 months postpartum, he threw out one sock out of each pair of mine. He left our 2 year old in a car at night in a bad neighborhood while he went in a store. A cop happened by the car, which resulted in a cps visit. I also had 2 friends at 2 different times found our kid in the car alone while he was in a store. Our kid pooped in his diaper at 2 years, and he smacked his butt so hard. Both cheeks had bruises, then told me "well he still loves me. He told me"

im sure a lot of girls understand what im talking about. if any of you got over this, please tell me how!! i cant have regular connections with men anymore and its not okay.. i think? i dont know at this point. tell me it gets better!!

i brush it off daily. i tell myself thats just how he is, he just has anger issues, hes just this hes just that... but im genuinely tired.
hes minimised my existence to serving him- making food, ironing clothes, cleaning the house, etc. in return, i get allowance that wont even last me a week, yelled at daily over LITERALLY nothing, judged for everything i do and cussed at.
im so tired of this being my daily life.. i dread going to sleep because i dont wanna wake up and deal with him all over again.
who does this to their daughter?? why???

My father has always been distant, mentally, physically. There hasn't been one day when he hasn't behaved rude. He tries to make up for it sometimes but I don't think it works. This issues sort of made me attracted to older men. Dated a couple of older guys, can't say I'm impressed. From my fictional crushes to real life crush, I liked older people. I don't know if it's validation I seek. But my ego is too high to get validated from someone. I just wanted to be taken care of I guess. Is 'babied' the right term for it? I just wished I had a good father. A father for whom I wouldn't have been so damaged, for whom my mood isn't always ruined, for whom my choices don't become terrible. I just wanted to be loved.

I’ve been craving attention from older men due to my daddy issues my entire life (i’m 16 now), but every single time men have proved they want nothing more than to use me. I’m scared i’m never going to be able to fill the void my dad left me with. I can’t really talk to anyone about this because it sounds kind of insane when i try to explain that i want both a father and a lover in a partner. Honestly feeling really lost rn.

Does it get better?