u/Sakura_-_-_

I’ve been following the age regression community for a while without being particularly in it. I’m not into dressing up and stuff like that, though I think people who do it are adorable. I draw the line at stuffies and toys. But when I was 14, I started showing signs of involuntary regression. For better context, I have daddy issues. An emotionally unavailable father who never gave me love or affection. He’s also very grumpy and pessimistic. At first, I thought I was being dramatic because he wasn’t even that bad, he isn’t abusive or anything. But then I realized about all the bullying I went through as a kid and how I got left out a lot. To sum it up, very lonely only child with busy parents. I noticed things that would trigger these involuntary regressions: men showing affection to girls, dads caring for their little girls, etc. At first, it was manageable but it got worse over time

It’s been two years since it started and I cannot find a single way to try and soothe myself when I regress, nothing ever works. And regressing is so unpleasant for me because all I do is wail and cry. The only thing that would soothe me is if a man would physically comfort me. And mind you, I’ve never had any loving male pillars in my life, I’m starved. And I’m stuck in this cycle because I’m still underaged, I’m ashamed to express my needs to anyone and boys my age are too stupid and mean to understand this level of emotional distress. I just needed to get this off my chest because I don’t have anyone I feel comfortable with to talk to. And I don’t even know if I can classify myself as a regressors or just a girl with daddy issues

How do I cope with needing male physical contact? To clarify my situation, my father is a cold emotionally unavailable angry man and I’ve never felt the safety or affection of a man in my whole life which obviously left a giant hole in my heart. This led me to attention seeking behaviors, which I am not proud of, depression, low self esteem and attachment issues. I am extremely self aware and mature for my age which puts me in a really awkward position, I’m too young to get myself into a relationship with an older guy, which I know is a bad idea with all the power imbalances and risks of grooming. But boys my age aren’t mature enough to understand my situation and needs which are pretty close to age regression but I’m am not into the little space thing. So how do I cope with needing a physical person to comfort me when I am extremely aware of the risks and restrictions? I feel like I’m spinning in this endless circle of pain and I can’t get out. I can’t do therapy because I don’t have the money and my parents don’t know about my situation and self soothing and reparenting doesn’t work either

I never get the chance to talk about my daddy issues and it’s the biggest thing that’s eating at me on the inside. Ever since I became sentient, my dad has been emotionally unavailable and he’s very stern, cold, grumpy and he’s always complaining about what I do. To clarify he has never been physically aggressive. But his coldness and absence left a hole in my development. I’d also like to add that he’s been working abroad since I’m a kid and comes back on weekends. I’ve never felt safe around him, I feel like walking on eggshells. I never thought it was daddy issues because I’ve heard that people have had it worse. But I feel like it’s very apparent now because I get teary eyed when a male asks me if I’m okay or just smiles at me. I can’t imagine how much of a crybaby I’ll be when I’ll have my first boyfriend. And yes, I’ve had the unfortunate situation where I’ve never EVER been approached by a guy, much less looked at or even had a guy take interest in me. All this piled up with having to mostly figure things out myself as a kid and other things that happened in my childhood have left me with this unbearable constant hunger. It’s the thing that bothers me the most and I’ve never felt an ounce of relief since I started to show behaviors. And I’ve started to get physical pain from that lack of male attention. I just needed to get this off my chest, thanks :)