No heads up but should not come as a surprise
I (41F) want to ask for advice on how to ask my non-nesting solo poly partner (41M) to let me know when/if there is a new meta. I know that asking for a heads up is kinda not possible. I’ve read advice on this sub that the request should be more like “should not come as a surprise”. Now I’m trying to think how to do it in practice.
I’m thinking of having a discussion with this partner about how we want to approach this and listen to what he has to say first. And then if he has no concreet ideas (to be honest, I expect none) then I would propose that we would share enough about our encounters and social life so that for example if one day he goes “I am dating Apple” then I would internally go “Oh I see that coming. You have been hanging out with Apple a lot lately.” For me this is a kind of sharing and intimacy that I would find comfortable with. I would feel left out if all out of the blue he announces a new meta.
Context: Currently we see each other once per week (we are non-nesting, he is solo poly) and for the rest I don’t know what his social life is like. I don’t know when he hangs out with his friends. I don’t even know if he has a dating profile on dating apps. Which is all fine so far, and I don’t need to know what he is up to all the time. I’m just thinking ahead about a potential new meta coming into the picture.)
What do you guys think? Is my request reasonable? Is the way I approach it safe for my partner? Thanks in advance for any advice!