19F, men are gross
I am talking to a 23 year old and he didn’t seem to care about the age gap , I asked him if he was uncomfortable by it because we met when he was 22 and I was 18 and he said no he doesn’t care
that was lowk the first red flag I saw
second red flag was when he would make jokes about other women after we decided we were exclusive and these other women would be my friends that he doesn’t know at all but i told him it made me uncomfortable and he saw how visibly upset I was,
ex; I told him I kissed a girl before and he said lets do a threesome, I said the girl was my friend and she was younger than me and Mexican and he said, “oooh Mexican??? bet”
he also tends to be very dry over text and call and his humor is def not like on par with mine 60% of the time but he is seriously a very sweet and nice guy and he has his moments where I feel like I’m wrong about second guessing this because he is overall not a bad guy, he’s just a man who has gone through a LOT of trauma and hardships.. but the jokes.. and the way he treats me sometimes is a bit too much
ex; he tends to be very bad at reassurance and it seems like he doesn’t care
we also don’t have a lot of things in common outside of very basic things, we don’t listen to the same music outside of Arabic & a handful of certain Tame Impala songs, we dont watch the same movies/shows and I feel like im thinking too much about it… but I can’t help but think that he is not the one for me even though I do have feelings for him, I just can’t seem to be 100% about them and idk how to go about it when it comes to telling him because I feel like after I see him in person it’s all good.
a little bit more background info none of my friends approve and no one knows I still talk to him
he is also the first person I’ve had sex with and I also havent dated anyone since I was like fifteen
he had an ex gf of about a year and a half and he lived with her and I think after I kept bringing it up is when I noticed he really lacks the ability to reassure, but he kept trying his best so I applauded that and told him I hope he keeps trying because I appreciate him attempting to be better rather than staying the same since I know he’s had past relationship trauma as well
we are not dating, but just “talking” it’s been about five months of this though and I don’t really want to be in a “talking stage” I don’t think that’s a real thing and I mentioned it and brought it up to him and I kept reinstating im ready
I made a very stupid mistake having sex with him despite us only being “exclusive but not dating” and now I feel really ridiculous and honestly like if I end things like I would just be making a bigger mistake