Can’t figure out my path in life
Currently I’m studying in a music college, I’m a producer and performer. I’ve never really knew where to take my life. Since I was young I wanted to be a YouTuber/Streamer but I feel like that’s a bit unrealistic. When I was 14 I got heavy into drugs and the only thing I had to support myself was music and creating music. I loved sematary at the time so I started off making his witch house + black metal beats. I’m 18 now and I feel like I’m not as creative or can’t create what I use to do and it’s tiring me. I know what I want my future to be like but I don’t know if that’s what I really want to do anymore. I still want to be a musician in the producer side but the more I’m involed with music, the less I make. I sort of live life just getting through the days and just waiting for something to happen even though you shouldn’t have that lifestyle. I guess I’ve been tired for a really long time and it doesn’t help with my low self asteem diagnoses. I just wanted to see what Reddit had to say even though the community hasn’t been nice to my post writing mean comments.
Has anyone been like this at my age and figured it out or am is this me just loosing an interest I don’t want to lose?