Need advice
Made a throwaway to post bc I dont want this traced back to me. I believe my ex may be a FA so I would like to hear some insights. Also posting here bc the subreddit about FA breakups seems very negative and anger fueled.
My ex dumped me 7 weeks ago just before our 3 year anniversary and I’ve honestly had a horrible time. It seemingly came out of nowhere, we were about to move across the country together and were planning on getting engaged. The engagement talks were so serious she even asked me to talk to her dad about our plans 1 month before the breakup happened.
Initially she told me I did nothing wrong and even told me she had never had such a strong connection with someone when the breakup conversation started over text. She said that she was just overwhelmed now that everything was more real and that she felt like she wasn’t mentally present and couldn’t give me what I deserve in a partner. We agreed to give each other space and met up a few days later to talk in person where she solidified her decision but then told me it’s because I didn’t do enough for myself in the past and she claims she had been doing more to reach our goals. However, she acknowledged that recently I had done a lot (promoted at work, got a raise, good gym progress, invested in my savings) so hearing her say that upset me. I asked for examples of me not doing things for myself and she couldn’t provide any in that moment. Additionally, we were long distance for most of the relationship and I was the one consistently making several hour round trips so we could be together.
I just feel like I did so much and at the end of the day it doesn’t seem like she felt the same way. When I asked for details about her feelings she started saying things like “no matter what I say it’s not gonna be enough to satisfy you” and eventually she said “what if I’m just not happy”. Both really stung.
Early on in the relationship she told me she had a fear of abandonment and self sabotages things when they are going well because she doesn’t believe things can work out for her. During the breakup she expressed how moving to the new city together scared her because it was not my first choice and she felt selfish making me go with her away from all our friends and family. This does hold some truth because I would have rather stayed in our home state due to financial reasons and I expressed this. All things considered at the end of the day I was just happy to be moving in together and starting a new chapter of life together. I was willing to make this major life change because of how much I love her.
At this point I just don’t even know what to do or how to move on, she wanted to remain friends but I told her I needed to cut all ties for the time being because any sort of reminder is too much for me right now. We both told each other we can always reach out but I feel like I may just be holding onto something that won’t ever come back. We haven’t communicated since the breakup, I still love her so much but idk if I’ll ever see her again because now she’s moving to the new city alone, several states away.
I apologize for dumping all this here I’m just at a loss of what to do and am really looking for any sort of advice or insights on how to handle this. I genuinely want the best for her and hope she can find happiness.