Is my dad emotionally abuse or am I being sensitive?
I'm leaving for college soon and if possible I would love to go extremely low contact with my father. I've talk to others about this before but I am not sure if I'm just the sensitive one or has my dad emotionally abused his family.
Financially: My dad would be supposed bread winner but my mom pays every bill including all our meals besides the mortgage. My parents weren't able to buy house until I was in high school and my mom spent her 401k on the down payment. My dad makes roughly around 70k not including the amount overtime which makes it closer to 80k. Every time he fights with my mom, the next morning he tells us that he's selling the house and moving us into an apartment. Another example is my dad demanding for all my mom's bank information for every account she has ever opened recently supposedly for his process of going to Canada.
Humiliation- he occasionally tries to force my sister and I on a scale to compare our weight. He has often looked at photos of my face zooming in on them to say it was fat and when I was younger he told me stop eating so much because I have a large stomach.He often shames for getting our hair done (we are African American).
Verbal- I have been learning how to drive over the past year and my dad has multiple times yelled at me to "use my brain" if I make a mistake. He constantly criticizes any who doesn't do something a way he would do it.
Control: As I said for finances my mom buys all of our food. Often my father comes home and rampage throwing anything he deems as unhealthy or that he simply doesn't like. He will not only throw food but house hold items. My dad used to go through my room and leave it mess after looking through all my things. In my house we usually all make our own meals, my dad does not allow us to cook food after 8pm or eat after 9pm. For a while the only thing we could eat was cereal or fruit for breakfast (he did not buy or provide any of those). We are not allowed to cook inside the house. I used to eat food in the bathroom so that he wouldn't go on a rant. If he wants a certain chore done we are not allowed to eat until it is done. Moving past that my mom pays for our phone bill, he has taken our phones away for my sisters not pushing their toothpaste from the bottom and leaving a receipt on the floor.
Others: he used to throw things, My sister and I once were spanked so hard we wet ourselves as children because we spilled water. He has constant mood swings. Overall my self-esteem has always been low due to his criticism.
Past : I have found a court document stated my dad was arrested for slamming my mom so hard into a door it fell.
Though I would never admit it I still love him but I hate him as a father or a person these are just signs of abuse there are other things about him that just make him like a bad person in general if yk lmk but otherwise this about abuse.Feel free to call me a dramatic teenager if you believe I am being over dramatic. I also have never made reddit post so I'm sorry if I make mistakes.