How do I change my situation?😭
Hey guys, just want some advice on becoming more independent. I (20m) am an only child and my parents are still fairly in control of my home life. Mostly my dad. My mom constantly tracks me on life360, so I can’t go to “some places” that I’d like to go because of fear that she will see. On the other hand my dad tracks all of my purchases on my debit card, so again, I can’t just buy what I want and I have to get cash out from the bank blah blah blah. I am in college, so when I’m there I’m fairly independent, but I still live in fear that my parents are gonna catch me “doing what I want”, and you can fill in the blanks (smoking, drinking, sexual encounters, etc). Now that I’m home for the summer, I feel as if I’m a servant to my dad when I’m at his house (divorced parents), and I don’t know how to change that. To me, compliance is safety, because my dad used to yell at me when I didn’t do EXACTLY what he wanted, so it’d a trauma response for me over the years so I try to be as perfect as I can to him. My mom is fairly lenient and lets me do as I please, but they still have to know exactly where I’m going every time I leave the house. I also recently got a job starting in a couple weeks, so that’s also good, but can anyone relate and tell me anything on how I can push back without being scared and just dealing with them for 3 months. Thanks for anyone who read this✌️
TLDR: Overbearing parents don’t let me leave the house unless they know exactly where I’m going, trying to gain independence but still relying on them heavily. What do I do?