Hi friends!!! I’m looking to start a 40 gal breeder community tank with the walstad method, however I’m confused on which type and brand of soil to get. All I hear is “organic top soil” not “this kind of organic top soil worked well for me!” So what kinds of soil have yall used? What kind of sand did you cap it with?
Hi! My (24m) boy friend and I (22f) have been together for 6 years. We’re high school sweethearts and in feb of 2024 we moved in to an apartment together. He’s my best friend, my first sexual partner, he taught me how to drive, he’s been there for me through thick and thin and I just absolutely adore him.
Two nights ago I said that after school I was going to clean the bedroom. Usually, when it comes to cleaning the bedroom we clean our own sides, we’re both particular about certain things, but he had asked if I could also clean his. I said “absolutely!” The next day I came home and started to make good on that promise. While cleaning off his shelf a couple books fell, one being a journal and it fell open, spine up, on the floor. I picked it up to put it back when I saw my name. I don’t feel proud about this next bit, it was a major invasion of privacy, and I regret it for more reasons than just that. It was a journal for roughly the first 3 years of our relationship. The page it fell open on detailed a night before we moved in together, we were on face time, I was having a rough day, and he was too. He wrote about how he wanted to hang up on me, pack all his things, leave me in the dust, and move to a different city. Curiosity killed the cat, and I kept looking. I found pages about how he was going through my phone bc I had a uti and we hadn’t had sex in a minute so he thought I was cheating on him. Pages upon pages of essentially calling me a burden. Pages where he would flip flop from “my partner is the best!” To “we haven’t had sex in a minute, i guess I’m just undesirable and should cut my losses”. There was a part where he wrote “there are so many women I will never be lucky enough to fuck, so buying their nudes is the next best thing” Among all of these, I found out he had been buying only fans subscriptions. I take no issue with porn, everyone indulges from time to time, but after years of talking and agreeing about how watching it for free and buying it aren’t the same, I felt very disheartened. He had been buying it off and on for I don’t even know how long.
I confronted him that night about it, we had a long talk, I apologized for reading it, knowing it was wrong. I then found out the girl he was buying from was one of his high school friends. Maybe it’s just me, but that doesn’t feel…okay. He has never once asked me for nudes or videos or anything. He has a past of being cheated on, so I stopped talking to any guys, I stopped posting “sexy” pictures of myself, I started feeling guilty any time a man so much as looked in my direction.
Is this cheating? I’m not sure how to feel. I know I feel gross, I feel ugly. I’ve been wearing pants and long sleeves in the summer heat bc I don’t want anyone to see me, let alone him. What do I do?