Ex-sex workers, how has your life changed since leaving it behind and healing?
Hi, this is part vent post and part seeking discussion because this isn’t really something I see talked about a lot in swer circles, I hope this is ok to post here. I really need support right now and not sure who else to talk to. Cross posting this to a few radfem subs
I’m currently working towards independence, possibly 4B as I feel it’s a life that most fulfills me, but unfortunately I’m stuck in sex industry. (was groomed into it as a minor and kept doing it for many years once I was away from my abuser) I was thinking of leaving for a while but then stumbled across an article once I googled this topic that made me decide to commit to trying another life.
I was finally able to take an extended break from it for a few months and honestly my mental health has been starting to get better. I was able to do this thanks to a “platonic sugar daddy” type of relationship I was upkeeping but after he crossed boundaries I ended up just cutting him off completely and now I’m worried about finances again. Now I just don’t want to suck up to these weirdos at all in any way shape or form, I just want a job that I can enjoy or at the very least doesn’t harm my mental health.
I have applied to many jobs over the past year and have also sustained myself with artistic gigs (although that’s not stable income yet) but have only gotten ONE interview out of literally dozens and they gave the position to someone else. The temptation to return to a strip club or walk around begging men to pay to have sex with me again is creeping back in and I’m worried my mental health will regress if I do this but I’ve been stealing food and my electric is about to get shut off lol.
I told my woes to a good friend of mine who is still working the clubs and she supports me but she just doesn’t really understand because what she told me is “you just have to get back now that it’s the good season and the money is flowing better, it’s the slow season that makes us so burnt out.”
So, for those who left this life behind (or know someone who has), could you please share your experiences and how your state of mind is now that you’re cut off from it completely? How do you feel now, that you didn’t even realize while you were in the thick of it? It would really help to motivate me to committing to the new type of life I want to live.