r/RadicalFeminism

I have noticed a pattern in the behavior of both men and women that I cannot ignore. Women tend to put in tremendous amounts of effort and sacrifices (quitting their careers, moving countries and leaving their friends and family behind, keeping up their looks, etc) to be with men who they are not even sexually and emotionally attracted to very much.
This is due to the patriarchy teaching women that their self worth and value is attached to being with a man, who is ‘inherently superior’ to them. Women are taught across many cultures and religions to disregard their own desires and satisfaction.

Men on the other hand do not put nearly as much effort. Men also typically only date women who they are sexually attracted to, but even then they don’t put in much effort. You would never see a man putting in effort for a woman he isn’t attracted to.

As a woman myself, I am advising other women to listen to their desires and don’t feel pressured to put in effort which will not be reciprocated. Date people who you are attracted to, and don’t put in effort which will not be returned. I’m bisexual and prefer to date women so I haven’t faced any issues with effort as of late ;) but stay safe out there y’all

I am a woman of Indian descent, and on a challenging career path. I am so tired of hearing people in family talk about marriage. Constantly. As if that is the only way to live life. Even my own mother said that I am being arrogant and I act like life is not worth living. Just because I said maybe I won't get married. They act like having a man by my side is the only way I can avoid being lonely in the future. What if I want to live in a house with all my women friends and we just live in a simple community and help raise children together? Why must I start a family with a man who may or may not see me as an equal, or expect me to sacrifice my career and freedom for children, or worse, him? I genuinely do not know how to deal with things like this because at one end, yes I am young and have wanted romance, but am so so disappointed by the state of men in this world. On the other hand, I want to be that radical b**ch that no one dares to question in the family. Thoughts?

I came across an interesting post about the SA-consent binary (link attached). More specifically, it’s about how falling into this binary and not acknowledging that something that’s not undoubtedly SA can still be non-consensual (and vice versa) can be harmful. Recently, I have also been thinking about “anti-cancel culture leftists,” who seem to be getting traction, and their stance in all of this. I want to read and learn more about these topics, both separately and in relation to one another, but I don’t know where to start.

I have a very hard time recommending books when people don’t say enough about their background, so here is a long summary: I started by reading some mainstream names in black feminism (several books by bell hooks and Angela Davis, Mikki Kendall, Audre Lorde). Then, I read some on rape culture (mostly papers and “Asking for it” by Kate Harding), and white feminism (again mostly short pieces/papers, hooks and Kendall, and “Against White Feminism” by Rafia Zakaria). Most recently, I have been really enjoying Andrea Dworkin’s work. I also try to read on decolonization (mostly the Pan-Africanist school), Palestine (would highly recommend Mohammed El-Kurd’s “Perfect Victims”), and prison abolition.

In case it matters, I’m a 25 year-old man from the SWANA, currently living in the US.

I would really appreciate any recommendations you might have. I have been in situations where I decided to distance myself from people I was very close to because of their involvement in things on the SA-consent “spectrum” after much thought and self-reflection. So, although I enjoy theory based works as well, I would specifically want to read about how feminist theory can inform concrete forms of resistance, solidarity, and judgement in real life. Thank you!

I used to watch true crime as a teenager, though as a became more feminist in my early 20s, i stopped watching because it pisses me off. why? the never ending excuses for the men.

why are evil men allowed to have some sympathetic villain backstory explained to people whenever they do something horrible? and it’s always something stupid like “his parents divorced! his parents disciplined him in a way that was the norm at the time!!! thats totally why he raped and killed underaged girls and not because he was a degenerate with a torture fetish!!”

lots of these men have sisters raised in the same or worse conditions who did not go on to do something terrible.

think about the Uvalde school shooting. the man who did it had a sister who grew up in the same house as him, yet she grew up to join the U.S. navy whilst he grew up to kill toddlers for attention.

I could spend all week talking about the way school shooters are treated by the media. The way the media blames the shooters school peers for having the audacity of not wanting to be friends with these boys who are often creepy, or blaming the mom and 10 therapist they had for not spending every second of their life coddling some psychopathic lost cause.

Edit: thank you all so much for the comments. I really appreciate how many of you have shared advice here. I’m going to look at solicitors this weekend and try and get an appointment booked in with a criminal law based one next week.

I’m from England I’m really starting to panic about a situation I got myself into a few days ago. There is a creator I like who has an account on fanfix. It’s $10 a month to subscribe to her account, so I wanted to find away around that.

I saw someone on Reddit advertise that he had a telegram account with her content on. I messaged the guy and we spoke over telegram. He wanted a one time $10 payment for access to the server and even let me know there was a sextape on there (I didn’t know this existed). I initially ignored him after he let me know as my initial intention was to get the content for free.

I few days later I got back to him and pay him through PayPal (this also becomes a problem). I get the link to the server and all seems fine as I can see her fanfix content on there. I don’t use PayPal a lot so I just wanted to check the payment again. I looked, and I accidently sent it though as a business payment so now this guy has my full name and address.

The guy started messaging me saying he had other servers if I was interested, I told him I wasn’t really interested and he starting sending me through images of some of the girls. It started off all fine and then one of the pictures was a clearly young girl in a bikini. I felt physically sick and went to report him when I remembered this creep now has my address, so if anything happened there and then, he would most likely know it’s me that reported him and have my location.

I then started to go through the server I paid for, and right at the very bottom where the sextape is, there is a video from the girls mother confirming that she was underage in this video. I didn’t know what to do so I left the server, blocked the guy and deleted my telegram account.

I know I shouldn’t have anything to worry about as for me, my intentions were clear and I had no idea there was underage content involved, but I’m panicking because one, I probably should’ve reported this guy but didn’t know what to do, and two, this will probably look really bad to the police if they investigate this creep.

They will see that I paid this guy to access a server that had CSAM on it. What do I do? I’ve been thinking about this non stop for 4 days since it happened and feel so anxious and sick about the whole situation.

Looking for any sort of tips to either someone I can go to, or if I have anything to worry about since I took the action to block this guy and get out of everything as soon as I knew. Thank you

I’ve seen a surge of feminists rejecting hetero sex and hormonal contraceptives as a means of protest. The argument is that participating in raunch culture as a woman (supporting/creating porn, casual hookups, etc.) is regressive, promotes commodification, and is a gateway towards physical/emotional abuse. Also that women having to front the burden of birth control while men remain oblivious is unfair.

I know radfems have nuanced takes about practicing sexuality, but I’d love your perspective on abstinence or rejecting/coming off of hormonal birth controls. Especially if you have chosen to abstain from sex or hormonal contraceptives!!! How has this experience been for you?

As a younger radfem, I’m exploring the implications of how I practice my sexuality and bc. To clarify, I don’t think sexuality should be demonized- I feel it should be respected, and women are not being sexually respected at the rate our society is participating in it (via hookups/porn/assault/raunch culture), ultimately making sex degrading and thereby holding us back from being seen as equal. Essentially that raunch culture has had a backwards effect on our liberation. I also hate the physical toll of birth control and it feels politically unfair.

Can anyone offer perspectives or recommend literature that specifically critiques hormonal contraceptives (through a sociopolitical lens) and/or the sexual revolution? I want to learn as many perspectives as I can! Thank you!

(I am currently reading Intercourse by Andrea Dworkin & Female Chauvinist Pigs by Ariel Levy, something along those themes would be perfect.)

I don't do dating apps normally, but last

week I gave it a try and had a huuuge Tinder disappointment in every way...it was a very disrespectful, humiliating experience. ..this triggered all my lingering suffering and rage about the female condition in the world...

It all resurfaced: what I've lived through with men, what my female friends have told me, what I read in the news, and what I constantly see on social media.

I feel like I've lost a fundamental illusion about relationships between men and women.

The more I learn about violence against women, rape, femicide, child sexual abuse, the widespread consumption of pornography, online groups where some men share intimate photos of their partners without consent, and high-profile cases like Pelicot, Diddy, or Epstein, the more I feel overwhelmed by sadness and emotional numbness.

It feels like women are expected to live with, love, and sleep with a group of people in which a huge portion is capable of the most horrific acts against women, children, and even animals. It leaves me feeling as though I'm surrounded by potential predators, and I've completely lost my sense of safety.

I know people will say, "Not all men are like that." Intellectually, I understand that argument. Emotionally, I just can't believe it anymore. What I've seen and learned over the years feels far too overwhelming for me to regain that trust.

I'm not just angry. I'm profoundly sad. It's as if I've lost faith in a part of humanity. I no longer know how to continue living peacefully while knowing that this reality exists and will probably always exist.

I'm not looking for empty reassurance or clichés. I genuinely want to understand: how do you keep believing in human relationships despite all of this? How do you continue living without being consumed by this awareness?

Because today, I honestly feel like I no longer want to exist in a world that feels this cruel.

since forever we were taught that we start as a sperm, that men “create” life and women grow and birth but that doesn’t even make sense, life is technically created from the sperm’s AND the egg’s dna why did we as a society decide that we “start” as a sperm (whatever that even means). i mean you don’t need to answer because the reason is obvious but i’m just so annoyed i wanted to point it out and also maybe if more women think about it we can finally stop saying it?

This would be why they are called lesbians and they are not bisexuals, correct? I commented on that post on Threads stating that lesbians are generally only attracted to vaginas and that is why they are lesbians. They are not attracted to penises. I was then called a turf and insulted multiple times. I can’t stop laughing at that honestly because I don’t see where I said anything that was incorrect.

out of curiosity I asked the feminism sub if they hold any beliefs or partake in any actions that could be viewed as anti- feminist.

to start the conversation, i listed a few of my own. i was very intrigued by the comments. things like feeling compelled to wear makeup, shave, wear a bra solely to hide my nipples, or feeling uneasy about long-term financial dependence in a SAHM dynamic.

not only did a large majority of comments heavily disagree with the points i listed. many seemed to reinterpret my examples rather than engage with what I was actually saying. for example, when I said I feel like I have to wear makeup to be perceived as presentable, many responses focused on women who wear makeup for artistic expression or because they enjoy it. but that wasn’t the experience I described. likewise, when I mentioned bras, people responded with comfort or support reasons, even though I explicitly said I was referring to covering nipples because female nipples are socially sexualized. i have a smaller chest and even i have to wear a bra during physical activities, i wasn’t mentioning in those situations.

it felt like there was a kind of cognitive dissonance happening.

I honestly forgot about the whole notion of choice feminism and how many women subscribe to it and propagate it. commenters defined feminism primarily as the freedom for women to choose whatever they want. because of that framework, they immediately categorized makeup, shaving, SAHM arrangements, marriage, motherhood, etc. as feminist choices if a woman chooses them. it’s still so interesting to me that a lot of people genuinely believe these choices exist outside of a social, economical, and political context. as if any choice is free from patriarchal conditioning.

acknowledging social influence doesn’t mean women should give up agency. it just means choices don’t exist in a vacuum. we can choose something while also recognizing that our preferences were shaped by the society we grew up in. what surprised me was how many people seemed unwilling to entertain both ideas at once.

TL;DR: Made a post on feminism sub. I wasn’t saying women shouldn’t choose things like makeup, shaving, bras, marriage, motherhood, or being a SAHM. I was asking whether anyone believed in ideals that are generally viewed as anti-feminist. Many responses seemed to sidestep that question by focusing on whether women are allowed to make those choices. To me, there’s a difference between supporting a woman’s right to choose something and examining why that choice may feel desirable, expected, or necessary in the first place.

I’m 19F I find myself in great agreement with radical feminism I understand how the patriarchy operates in its many ways and how it is deeply embedded in our lives.

I therefore also understand that as women our choice to “become pretty” is rooted in patriarchy and millennia of women being held up to these harsh standards etc from a young age

As for myself I am no different to any other girl who is being consumed by these standards and practices . I hate to admit it but I have an eating disorder since I was 13 and I always need to be thin, as soon as I turned 18 I got a lip flip, some lip filler which I do regret, I’m still considering other procedures to be more “beautiful” knowing well this is all inherently anti feminist. I also wear makeup when I go out but I try to be makeup free when I don’t need it.

I’m so disappointed with myself because I understand that this mismatches with my thinking so does that just make me a hypocritical radfem or not a radfem at all? I’m clearly not practicing what I preach ( I don’t tell anyone not to wear makeup or anything, I am against plastic surgery despite wanting it myself🤕 … ) but nonetheless I fully agree with the ideology

What do you all think? I hope to get better

Since this sub is spewing a bit away from direct discussions of radical feminism, I thought I'd make a thread to talk about great radfem texts and get reading recommendations!

On my part, I found Gayle Rubin's The Traffic in Women revelatory when I first read it, and it's still my go-to text. Also a big fan of MacKinnon in general, especially Toward a Feminist Theory of the State and Only Words, and for a shorter piece, my pick is Sandy Stone's The Transsexual Empire Strikes Back.

How about y'all?

In western societies, white liberal feminist's tend to rightfully so criticize religion for its regressive ideologies. This stops at Islam because of the already bigoted idea that anyone who is non white is a practicing Muslim therefore criticizing Islam is criticizing the people which to the white liberals equates to racism.

Its evidential because although we can acknowledge that Islamphobia is real, white liberals know but will never acknowledge the oppression faced by those who live in theocratic, monarch or fundamentalist Islamic societies. Yes dictation of clothing is a sexist belief, but so is the hijab because the whole point of the hijab is to be modest, without it you're immodest, an idea that contributes to rape culture.

It such a disgusting showcase of ignorance. Telling a women from Afghanistan, Iran, Bangladesh etc that their suffering is invalid solely because you believe this religion shouldn't be criticized because you might face scrutiny.

It just goes to show the level of performance white liberal feminist's go to.