Afraid of showing my hairy legs in public
(I'm making this post in various communities as it's a personal issue that has haunted me for a while, so I could really use as much advice as possible)
As I read more about feminism I became more taken aback by the idea of shaving. It's baffling to me that I'd need to do it to be attractive and moreso that I'd need to be attractive to be treated with respect (therefore needing to shave). I don't really want anyone who wouldn't be nice to a hairy woman to be in my life. The hair on my legs, belly, armpits, and feet that I used reappeared and instead of shaving it all off like I used to I "challenged" myself to keep it and not be disgusted by my own body since men don't have to carry that burden. I'm lucky that my group of friends is progressive, and even though my mother does suggest that I shave and looks at my hair when she thinks that I'm not seeing her, she's somewhat "proud that I don't just follow what everyone else says".
But summer is coming soon and I'm deathly afraid of wearing shorts and skirts. I was already self conscious about people staring at my legs in public since I have self harm scars and now the hair on my legs makes me feel so much more exposed. I hate feeling strangers' eyes burning into my shins and things, especially when I'm alone in public. This has made me dress more masculine than before, which I don't especially love. I'm also scared that this will affect my chances of getting a job.
For some reason all of my fear is concentrated on leg hair, I can't bring myself to like it. At least somehow I like the hair on my armpits and belly. Sure, I'll feel embarrassed when people stare and comment, but me liking it makes it a little bit better. I think that I might shave my legs this summer, but I dread the idea of doing it as much as I dread the idea of keeping it. Shaving it feels like a humiliation ritual, like beauty standards are winning against me.
I think I'll keep the armpit hair unless I get hired and I feel scared that I could get in trouble, but what should I do about my legs?