WIBTAH if I step down as a bridesmaid for a friend's wedding?
My husband (M31) and I (F30) are both in the wedding parties of a friend's wedding. He is a groomsman and I was invited to be a bridesmaid even though we don't really know the bride (F30) all that well.
Here's the backstory.
My husband reconnected with the groom (M32) while our daughter was in the hospital fighting cancer. The groom came by to visit a few times while we were in the hospital and that was where I got to know him. Our daughter passed away after a few months fighting cancer.
Since then, we went through a lot of tough times. And the toughest of the times would be around when she passed and around her birthday.
We met the bride about a year ago when the groom introduced us to her as a girlfriend. They only have been dating for a month at the time, but the point of the introduction was because they wanted to ask my husband to be a groomsman for their wedding.
My husband said yes because he was grateful for the friendship through our hospital stay. And I was asked to be a bridesmaid to walk down with my husband. At this point the wedding date was not planned yet.
Between then and the announcement of the wedding date, our daughter's birthday came and passed. The couple were among the people we invited to celebrate her birthday on her birthday. We shared our grieving with those there and talked how the month she died and the month she was born was the most difficult.
We got a save a date a few months after that announced the wedding date. The wedding is set to be the day before our daughter's birthday. We also got the agenda for the wedding. There's the dinner rehearsal for the day before the wedding from 5pm to 9pm. The day of the wedding is from 7am to 12am with cleanup the following day.
When we accepted, we didn't expect this large of a commitment leading up to her birthday. We didn't even know it was going to be so close to her birthday.
So, would we be the assholes if we remove ourselves from the wedding parties?