u/Effective_Spend1529

So for context I (17F) met my now ex bff who we’ll call Red (17F) in 2021, we had both joined a new school and we only had 2 friends, her friends were cousins from the same family who went to her primary school and I had only just made friends with these two friends who knew each other since year one. When we met we both talked about anime and manga, yes we got called cringe for our interests. After a little while our friend group grew with me meeting my now gf (16F) through another old friend of mine, she introduced me to another girl who we’ll call Ret and invited her, my now gf and her friends to sit with us, she agreed and our friend group was great. Last year we met a guy who’s code name will be Greg (17M). Now before I get into the nitty gritty details about how we became ex best friends I want it to be CLEAR my gf and I had the same interest and bonded over a game and we kept binding ever since to the point where in December I nervously asked her out and she said yes, she understood me on so many levels and knew how to help me when overwhelmed. So on the 19th of July of 2025 I got a call from Ret, I went over to my phone as I was cleaning and picked up, I couldn’t see where she was as all I saw was her face and a light from behind her so I thought she was at her place, we chatted and she then said “stop saying Melissa” I was confused and thought her sisters were teasing her, but when she panned the camera over it was the whole friend group minus me and my gf. I did have to go off camera a couple of times as it hurt that I wasn’t even asked to hang out, no call, no text and no snap and group chat. Fast forward to September and the same thing happened on Reds 17th, I was hurt my on best friend didn’t invite me to anything. When I brought it up she said “they had never been to my house” & “oh well the concert was like £30 per person and it was super loud” for clarification I have ADHD and autism, however I know how to calm myself down before I have a shutdown response. I was still hurt about it and decided to distance myself, which was when I noticed her behaviour, I had gotten an essay sent from Greg’s phone but it was all coached by red, it was calling me a bad friend and how I didn’t listen to them when they brought up my behaviour in the past. They actually never talked to me about it, they never said “oh your behaviour isn’t the best right now.” In the message Red took it upon herself to ASSUME stuff about her friend of 4 years, a girl called Haley had passed out in the schools out door seating area, I said I hope that she was okay as I know how it hurts to pass out and hit your head. However she took this as me making it about me, all I said was I know how much it hurts, nothing else about me passing out or saying how I had passed out months prior. When Haley came into class I asked if she was okay and sat with her the whole lesson making sure she wouldn’t pass out again. Here’s where all the behaviour Red “called me out on” became obvious, she continuously interrupted people to talk about herself; one day I was talking about my little brother and his birthday which was that day and before I even got 3/4 of the way through the conversation she interrupted me to say how she was born 9 days before her mum. I already knew and I didn’t ask her about it, she brought up my little brother and I was talking about him being happy. I also learned from my ex girlfriend who occasionally talked to Greg that the reason why Red didn’t invite me to her celebration at a concert was because she stereotyped me into what is considered as “childish autistic behaviour” and said I’d ruin her birthday with a “meltdown” as I said before I have shutdowns, and either way I ended up “ruining” her birthday even though I wasn’t there. I eventually confronted her and she denied ever doing it and now I’m contemplating to write an essay to her calling her out, and blocking her after our prom. Now she’s going around spewing more lies about me so ATAH for actually calling her out?

So I (16F) live with my mum and dad (46F and 47M) alongside them are my two younger siblings (15M and 13F). I want this to be very clear I am not blaming my siblings for anything in this situation because I know they have no control over it and I also wanted to point out how I am not an only child as many would think so if I didn’t give some context about my family. I am currently in what is supposed to be my final year of school, I am currently doing my GCSE’s (for anyone not from the uk it stands for General Certification of Secondary Education, aka my finals) this means I need to concentrate more on school and my studies to be able to get good grades for me to get jobs and go to colleges or sixth forms. However my parents, mostly my mum, believes I don’t do anything, when I do. So instead of asking me what I am doing she will give me tasks that she doesn’t want to do or can’t be bothered to get my siblings to do it. During some of my downtime or even my study sessions I will hear her call up to my room and “ask” me to do something or she will message me yet again “asking” me to do a task she knows my siblings can do. If anyone who sees this is a parent themselves or a parent-to-be, if you have multiple children do not only target one to do certain chores and let the others do whatever they want as this can cause a child to be burnt out and not get enough rest time. Now I understand that ever since my older brother (26M) has moved out over 5 years ago that I am now the oldest child in the house and that my parents are trying to “prepare” me for when I move out, but that does not mean I am able to do multiple tasks at once! Earlier within the week I was trying to rest after a 2 hour exam and a 7 hour school day, as I was resting in my bed and watching something on my tv I hear my mum call me and ask me to go collect rubbish from around the house, so I did, she then revealed to me that she had asked my little sister to do it however she didn’t do it as she “couldn’t be bothered because she was going ti her friends in 30 minutes” when my mum asked her to, my mum then asked me to put washing into the machine and grab her some things, I then went to go do what she told me but she said to not bother because she did it. So I went back to my room as her continuous “questions” to do tasks had me forget about the rubbish. She then had a go at me for forgetting the rubbish and she then blamed it on my phone. Not only is she asking me to do majority of chores but she’s telling me to do things because I’m “lazy” (I’m actually emotionally and physically exhausted) when my little brother is sat in his gaming chair playing rust for hours (he now has over 900 hours in the game). Eventually today I snapped and ended up going to my room and bawling my eyes out at the sheer amount of weight and responsibility she was forcing onto my shoulders. Call me sensitive if you want but forcing a 16 year old girl who is in the middle of exams, just lost one of her feline friends and has 2 neurodivergent disabilities such as ADHD & Autism is not something you should do to toughen them up for the future, especially when a parent tries to guilt trip them into doing things and letting them use THEIR money to go bingo and get the car fixed. (Yes these are things that have happened on my sweet sixteen my mum asked to borrow the 100 pounds my family members had sent for me to use to buy something and i haven’t seen a single penny they owe me 170 quid and my mum tried to guilt me into letting her use 50 quid to get her car fixed by saying how I get driven everywhere when in all actuality it is my sister who asks to get driven around). I don’t know what to do and I am scared to bring this up to my parents as they constantly call me selfish and sensitive and I don’t know if I should talk to my older brother about this or my cousin who confides in my mum. So am i overreacting? And what should I do?