r/okstorytime

Just to make it clear, I know I am Ahole for cheating on my partner. I only did it because he cheated on me. I caught him because it was with my really good friend, and I forgave him because he didn’t want to leave me. I was hurt for a while, but I got over it. I never forgot, though.
Here is where I met the guy. We were supposed to have our date night. I got to the restaurant before him because of his work. Forty-five minutes passed, and he still wasn’t there. I texted him, and immediately he called and said he wouldn’t make it because his boss needed some things completed that night. I was sad. I ate dinner and went to the bar for a drink.
A guy came along and immediately started hitting on me. He bought me drinks, and the next thing I knew, I was in his SUV getting licked and having spicy sleep things happen.
This went on for six months until I found out he had a wife. I wanted to break things off, but he kept telling me that if I did, he would expose me to my boyfriend. I’m still sleeping with him, and the only thing I can think to do is tell his wife so that this could end.
I feel like this is not going to end well, and I don’t know if I should tell my boyfriend and get it over with, or just break it off for good and see if he tells my boyfriend.

I need advice!

Please lmk what you would do I’m stuck.

I spent months trying to save the people around me. In the end, I was the one trying to save my family.
I’ve rewritten this post about a dozen times because I honestly don’t know how to explain everything that happened without it sounding unreal.
I’m changing everyone’s names because I don’t want to put anyone’s personal information on Reddit. I’ll call my mom “Sarah” and another person “Kyle.”
I’m also not posting this expecting everyone to automatically take my side. I know there are always two sides to a story. I have screenshots, messages, payment records, pictures, and other documentation, and I’m willing to show what I can while protecting everyone’s private information.
I just want people to understand how we got here.
Because this wasn’t one argument.
It wasn’t one bad night.
It was months of me putting my own money, time, work, belongings, and trust into helping other people — until there was almost nothing left for my own family.
It started with my mom.
My mom was struggling to keep her house.
So I did what I thought a son was supposed to do.
I helped her.
I gave her money. I helped with expenses. I worked on the house. I repaired things. I put my own time and labor into keeping the place together.
I wasn’t just handing over money and walking away.
I was actually working on the house and helping repair it myself.
Over roughly six months, I ended up giving her close to $15,000, and when everything is completely added up, the amount may be even higher.
I did all of this because she was my mom.
I wasn’t expecting to get rich.
I wasn’t keeping score.
I genuinely believed I was helping my family.
I did the same thing for someone else.
Another person, who I’ll call Kyle, was in danger of losing his car.
I helped him too.
I even gave him a place to stay because I didn’t want to see someone I knew end up without transportation or somewhere to sleep.
I trusted him.
Eventually, I found myself out approximately $1,300, along with a bunch of my belongings.
Looking back, I can see that I kept putting other people’s problems ahead of my own.
But I kept doing it because I thought helping people was the right thing to do.
Meanwhile, I had my own family to protect.
I have a young daughter.
My girlfriend was pregnant at the time.
We knew our living situation wasn’t where we wanted it to be, so we were already looking and applying for other places to live.
That detail is important because we weren’t blindly staying somewhere and waiting for something to happen.
We were actively trying to find a safer and more stable place for our family.
We were trying to move forward.
Then everything came crashing down.

The day everything changed
It was around 4:15 PM when I asked my mom if I could use her car to go pick up a title.
That’s what started the argument.
It turned into a fight about tools.
I’d reached the point where I was frustrated with constantly helping while feeling like I was being treated like I didn’t matter.
I told her I didn’t want her asking me for anything else if I was going to keep being treated that way.
The argument escalated.
She started pushing me around inside the room I was paying rent for.
I tried to record what was happening with my phone.
She tried to take my phone away from me.
At that point, I told my girlfriend to call the police.
I wasn’t trying to fight my mom.
I wasn’t trying to make things worse.
I wanted someone there because I didn’t feel safe, and I wanted what was happening documented.
Once the police were being called, the physical part stopped.
But that didn’t mean it was over.

Then everything started coming apart.
My room was already packed with our belongings because we were trying to figure out where we were going to move.
Then things started being thrown around.
Our belongings were being moved and thrown around in the room.
There was an argument involving my daughter’s toys, and something that should have been a simple parenting issue turned into the entire house getting involved.
Then I was told to take the food out of the refrigerator.
A refrigerator I had paid for.
I had paid for the food too.
Other people in the house had their own mini-fridges, but suddenly I was being told what I could and couldn’t keep in something I had purchased.
At that point, I realized this was much bigger than an argument.
We were being pushed out.

And then we were actually put out.
We had paid our rent.
We were already looking for another home because of our daughter and the baby on the way.
But we were not given the time we needed to make that transition.
There was no 30-day notice.
There wasn’t a proper opportunity to finish securing another place, pack our belongings, move our things, and make sure our children were taken care of.
We were simply forced out.
Afterward, I researched the Colorado requirements and began seriously considering legal action because I believe the way we were removed was unlawful.
But knowing you may have legal options doesn’t immediately solve the problem of having a pregnant girlfriend and a young child who need somewhere safe to sleep.
That’s what made this so terrifying.

And then I started realizing just how much we’d lost.
This wasn’t just losing a place to stay.
I lost a refrigerator I had paid for.
I lost personal belongings.
I lost parts I had bought for my other motorcycles.
And I lost a motorcycle that I had spent countless hours almost completely rebuilding.
That bike wasn’t just sitting there collecting dust.
I had put money into it.
I had put hours into it.
I had put my own hands on nearly every part of that project.
I was almost finished.
Then there were my tools.
At least $1,500 worth, and I’m still trying to figure out the full amount.
And those tools hurt especially badly because they’re not just possessions.
They’re how I work.
They’re how I fix motorcycles.
They’re how I fix vehicles.
They’re how I make money.
So losing them made it harder to replace everything else I had lost.

The hardest part isn’t even the money.
It’s the fact that I was doing all of this because I thought I was helping people I loved.
I helped my mom keep her house.
I repaired that house.
I put money into it.
I put my labor into it.
I helped Kyle when he was about to lose his car.
I gave Kyle somewhere to stay.
I gave people money when they needed it.
I gave people things I owned.
And over the course of about six months, I put nearly $15,000 into helping my mom and keeping everything together.
Yet when my own family needed stability, we were the ones who ended up with nowhere to go.
That’s the part I still struggle with.
I could understand losing money.
I could understand losing a motorcycle.
I could eventually replace tools.
But realizing that I spent so much time trying to make sure everyone else was okay, while my own daughter and pregnant girlfriend were suddenly in danger of losing their stability…
That broke something in me.

I’m not posting this because I want revenge.
I don’t want Reddit to attack my mother.
I don’t want anyone harassing Kyle.
I don’t want strangers showing up anywhere.
That’s not what this is about.
I’m trying to figure out how to rebuild our lives.
I’m trying to find stable housing.
I’m trying to protect my daughter.
I’m trying to support my girlfriend.
I’m trying to figure out what legal options I have.
I’m trying to recover the belongings that were taken or left behind.
I’m trying to replace the tools I need to work.
And I’m trying to figure out what happens to the motorcycle I spent so much time rebuilding.
I have documentation because I knew I needed to keep records.
I have payment history.
I have messages.
I have photographs.
I have screenshots.
I’m not asking people to believe me just because I wrote a convincing story.
I’m showing you the story because this actually happened to us.

Maybe the hardest lesson I’ve learned is that helping people doesn’t mean they’ll help you when you need it.
I spent months being the person people called when they needed something.
Need help keeping your house?
I’ll help.
Need help with your car?
I’ll help.
Need somewhere to stay?
I’ll make room.
Need something repaired?
I’ll work on it.
Need money?
I’ll figure something out.
I kept saying yes.
And eventually, I had to look at my own family and realize:
Who’s going to help us?
That’s the question I’m still trying to answer.
I’m not asking someone to magically fix everything.
I’m trying to find enough of a foothold to start rebuilding.
A stable place for my family.
The ability to work again.
The tools I need to work.
The ability to replace what we lost.
And some sense of normal life for my daughter.
I’ve spent a long time helping other people climb out of holes.
Now I’m standing in one myself.
But I’m still here.
I’m still working.
I’m still trying.
And I’m still fighting for my family.
I lost a lot of things through all of this.
But I refuse to lose the people I’m doing all of this for.
My daughter deserves stability.
My girlfriend deserves to feel safe.
And my family deserves the chance to start over.
So that’s what I’m going to do.
I’m going to rebuild.
One piece at a time.
Just like I was rebuilding that motorcycle.
Except this time, I’m rebuilding my life

Hello. I am well aware that I may be the the jerk in this situation but I feel like I did everything else to get this dude out of my wife's life. Things have always been rocky between the three of us. My wife and I met while they were on one of their many breaks back in our senior year of high-school. The chemistry sparked fireworks between the two of us but those fireworks also started a forest fire love triangle. He would send me messages mocking me saying I need to stay away from "his girl" when she was always the one going to me. However their relationship eventually crashed after he ended up SA her at a concert. Not long after I swept her off her feet and helped her heal and now here we are 11 years later, married with 3 kids in our single family home. We never really did end up hearing the last of her ex though. He did end up getting married, however he was still trying to temperature check with my wife. The first time he reached out on FB. She never responded to that. Then he added her on Snapchat and she would just tell him something along the lines of "I dont think my husband would appreciate us talking" and then blocked him. Then last year he created another Snapchat adding her again. He said he had a dream that she was drowning and he had to save her or something really weird like that. My wife had shut that down also pretty much the same way except it was her friend that had her phone at the time that responded. I was getting really tired of this pattern and found his wifes phone number and sent her a text letting her know what has been happening. She seemed to be on my side trying to get to the bottom of this, but after some back and forth her demeanor changed and said she already knew about it and was okay with him reaching out to his ex that he claims he is not still obsessed with. Kinda speculation but I believe he took her phone and sent me that, something my wife confirmed was a common thing he did. Now to present day and I think the two of them either divorced or separated. Since then the dude moved back to our state. Last week he created yet another Snapchat account and added my wife yet again. My wife and i decided it was going to be me this time that messaged him. I cant recall my exact words but I spoke for her. Saying that "I am married and this is the 4th or 5th time you have tried this and it needs to stop". But because I knew this wouldn't solve anything like how it didn't last time. I decided that because he is a narcissist I needed to give him the belief that it is in his best interest to move on. I told him "I always loved my husband from the beginning. He was always there for me and that's why I slept with him at church camp while we were on a break. What I had with you was a trauma bond and I will never want you back in our lives. If you have unresolved issues you need to seek counseling or a friend." No one ever said anything about us sleeping together while they were on a break. I just hope it was enough to stop him from feeling the need to do his temperature checks ever again. Once the message was opened I blocked this account. Part of me feels like the A-hole for being mean, but its been 11 freaking years and being polite didn't work the other 3 times. Did I take it too far?

I (38F) and my bf (44 M) are in a 7 month long distance relationship. We matched on a dating website back in January while he was home for the season. We talked for weeks before going on a date. It went well and I was head over heels for him. The next day he had to fly out across the country for 10 months. He builds roads for a national union and he gets sent to all parts of the country. I was not aware at first his job site was far away. After some careful thinking that night I decided to try a long distance relationship. We speak everyday and FaceTime. We found out they were giving his crew the week off for July 4th. Which will be 4 month mark since he left. We made plans for each day and I requested pto for that week. We even had some spicy plans wink wink. Here is where I need advice or opinion if I am wrong.
He finally landed and none of our plans were followed through. He just kept going to his family’a house to work on his cars, and do errands. Asked if I wanted to tag along but said he doesn’t advise it because he thinks I’ll be bored. Barely touches me and no spicy sleep. Second to last day he wanted to drive to a different state to get his car painted and stay there for the night. I snapped. I asked him why make me use my limited pto if we were not going to follow plans or give me his undivided attention. It’s not easy having a long distance and wanted this time to soak him up so I can last another 5 months until he is home. He got upset but stayed silent. Then canceled his plans and took me out to eat. We finally had spicy sleep. And he left the next day. We continued to talk everyday and it went back to normal.
Apparently, saying those exact 3 sentences left a mark on him. Today I asked him what are the plans for Thanksgiving and Christmas. If he needs to spend time with family or want to celebrate those holidays. My job is making us file our time off requests now in October for those holidays. His response was….“ I don’t have any plans, I just cook a nice meal and relax at home. I will never ever ask you to take time off work again so that will be up to you.” My response …” okay so that means we can never plan a trip or vacation then is what you are saying ?” His response again” oh we can plan but it will be up to you to request off. I won’t ask. “.
I said have a goodnight and now I’m typing on here.

I don’t know how to feel about this and before I get upset I would like some unbiased opinions. Was I that much of a jerk for getting upset and saying I wouldn’t have used my pto if I wasn’t going to have your undivided attention ? Now he is scared to ever ask me to take off of work. Or maybe he still doesn’t see my point of view? He will only be home from Thanksgiving up until the first week of February. I would like to make a plan to go on a week trip. And then the other days he is home he can do as he pleases. The very least plan a full day where we have quality time and make up for lost time. I want to be understanding and compromise but I’m completely dumbfounded at the moment.

I’m looking more for perspective from people who have been through something similar than legal advice. I’m already planning to speak with an attorney.
My son is a teenager and getting close to adulthood. His biological father has always known he is his father. For complicated reasons, another man was listed on my son’s birth certificate when he was born, and legal paternity was never corrected.
His biological father did financially contribute voluntarily when my son was younger, but several years ago that essentially stopped.
Over the years, there have been different explanations for why he wouldn’t contribute.
At one point, he told me he wasn’t going to financially contribute to a household where another man was living.
Later, he lost his job. At the time I was doing very well financially, so I told him not to worry about helping while he got himself back together. I could afford to take care of our son, and I genuinely wasn’t trying to make his situation harder.
My own circumstances eventually changed significantly. When I later asked him for help again, I was told he wasn’t giving me money unless his name was put on our son’s birth certificate.
Eventually I stopped asking and continued taking care of everything myself.
He has occasionally contributed small amounts indirectly through one of my family members, and I would absolutely disclose and give him credit for anything he actually provided. But there has not been consistent financial support for years.
I previously tried going through my state’s child-support agency, but nothing really moved forward. I recently went back and finally learned that the man currently listed on the birth certificate has to be legally removed first. Once that happens, biological paternity can be pursued through DNA testing and the courts.
That process is now something I can actually move forward with.
And suddenly I’m conflicted.
Part of me thinks: My son is almost grown. I’ve made it this far. Why open this whole can of worms now?
Another part of me thinks: Why exactly should making it this far by myself mean his father’s financial responsibility simply disappears?
I’m also trying to understand his thinking.
Maybe he genuinely believes that because another man was legally listed as the father, he wasn’t responsible. Maybe he believes that because he didn’t trust me with money, withholding financial support was reasonable. Maybe he believed that because I managed without him for years, I would simply continue doing so.
And maybe he genuinely believes I’ll never take legal action.
For years I think I viewed him as someone who was always several moves ahead of me. He’s very educated, intelligent and good at navigating systems, and when I was younger I often felt like he understood things I didn’t.
Now that I’m older, I’m questioning that dynamic.
Maybe there isn’t some complicated strategy I’m failing to understand. Maybe he simply made choices that worked because I kept figuring out how to take care of our son anyway.
I’m considering hiring my own family-law attorney rather than continuing through the state agency. I want to establish the correct legal paternity, understand whether any retroactive support is realistically available, and let an attorney tell me what the case is actually worth before I decide how far I want to take it.
For parents who have been in a similar situation:
Did you pursue paternity/child support when your child was already a teenager?
Did you regret doing it—or regret waiting?
How did the other parent react once they realized you were actually going through the legal process?
And if you were the parent who didn’t pay support for years, I’m genuinely interested in your perspective too. What did you believe would eventually happen?

Okay, this is a long one so buckle up!

I am sueing my employer for negligence, some of the details of this story won't be exact in fear of anyone from work seeing this and it affecting the lawsuit somehow.

In 2025 I was assaulted at work, I am a manager for a company who provides care in the community to adults with learning disabilities and mental health conditions etc I've done this for 10 years plus. The assualt was brutal, I was targetted by an individual (who had mental capacity) in my office space, a space where service users shouldn't have access due to a locked door policy. A staff member had left the main front door unlocked and he simply walked in and it escalated from there. I had my shirt ripped exposing me, punched repeatedly in the head and face, I was kicked in the knee and fell to the floor as I heard a crunch and my leg gave way, whilst on the floor he also tried to stomp on my face, I luckily deflected this with my arms and he stomped on my shoulder. There were 3 other staff present, one other was assaulted after me and the other two were not properly trained in appropriate physical intervention techniques for our site (they were agency staff). The 3 staff couldn't get him off me and I believe it's partly due to incorrect techniques being attempted during the assualt. Domt get me wrong, I'm forever grateful they were there and tried to get him off me but I do strongly believe that if the correct techniques were used the degree of injury caused may have been much less. The police were called and he was arrested, remanded and removed from our services entirely. He was found guilty this year following court attendance (but not criminally responsible) following a further psychiatry assessment being done whilst remanded. We are awaiting sentencing which is this month and likely to be a hospital treatment order.

I've been absent from work since the assault. I have significant damage in my knee, I've had a distal femoral osteotomy and lateral and medial meniscal repair surgery so far this year and I'm on a wait list for a second surgery to do acl reconstruction in the next 3-6 months which will be followed up with months of intense physiotherapy. I've suffered with PTSD, anxiety and depression since, ive been on long wait lists to start therapy, then once it started my therapist went absent for 2 month, I was given a new round of appointments with a new therapist this month. I additionally done another therapy (EMDR) for processing the assualt, this had to stop abruptly due to it destabilising my mental health further. So my physical and mental health are still not stable to allow me to work.

In the beginning my employer was supportive having regular well-being check in meetings, they did initially offer psychological therapies but nothing came of this so I pursued this myself. The second highest manager of the company said in his lifetime career it's the worst assault he's ever heard oof (and he worked in mental health hospitals). The support I was getting suddenly changed and the meetings were rephrased as capability meetings, I challenged this due to the policy being they could only pursue capability under a performance track not sickness and their own policy stated they should use the sickness absence policy for long term sickness. They then rephrased it as medical capability which I now feel they are trying to dismiss me under. I've had 3 occupational health assessments, the most recent being a month ago and stated no definitive return date due to how complex mental health is, but he estimated on physical injuries alone I'm looking at mid 2027 before a return is feasible.

Now, where the sueing comes in stems back to earlier this year where I had a meeting with my manager and his senior manager. This meeting was an opportunity for me to get feedback around the incident and lessons learned, as well as me express what I think needs to change as a result of it.

Im the meeting I essentially received no feedback, they simply said nothing I did was wrong and that I followed the protocols (call the police as he refused to leave upon request due to confidential information breaches from him being in there). I gave suggestions of various things to change such as 1. Changing the locking system for the door to the building to be more secure, 2. A plan to be implemented should someone enter again in future that involved locks being put on rooms that hold confidential information (files, paperwork, medications, finances etc ) and 3. All regular agency staff to be trained appropriatly.

The response I received was that they wouldn't be implementing anything I suggested and gave me the reason of we have to dynamically risk assess every situation and every situation is different. They also basically said I needed to decide if I could return to the job following what happened and if not it might be best to look at a different job.

I was extremely emotional in this meeting and tearful, I think more so at the disbelief of their response.

I came away feeling really down and upset feeling the whole thing was very unjust. This has affected my life massively, I've had reduced pay which overtime now stopped due to going past ssp 28 weeks, now claim benefits that aren't covering our monthly expenses with husbands wage so we've had to drastically change our outgoings and adjust best we can, my 3 year son probably wonders why mammy doesn't play the same anymore and why mammy is always sad, I try my hardest not to be and to be as normal as possible for him but it's hard. I reflected on the impact of it all, how it wasn't my fault and felt my employer was liable for negligence due to untrained staff present and also the staff member leaving the door unlocked (vicarious liability).

I also was frustrated at the responses in the last meeting and couldn't wrap my head around the fact that they just wont change anything. I asked for the minutes for the meeting to be told that there were none. I was livid. Every meeting is minuted normally by my manager and general good practice is for any meeting to be minuted. I know why they haven't, because of their response and kick myself every single time I think back to why I. didn't just minute it myself word for word.

So I pursued a lawsuit against them and got in touch with a law firm.

Since this, they've made my life hell. They've been trying their hardest to get me dismissed under medical capability (likely to reduce potential future payout of loss of earnings). They created issues with pay,.giving me huge anxiety month to month not knowing what was coming in. They've been tape recording meetings, using bullying and intimidation tactics and made false allegations toward me. Its an awful situation to be in and has only made my mental health worse.

I also have since found out that whilst I was on maternity leave the year prior to the assault a similar incident happened (to a lesser degree but still an assault) which shows there was forseeability of this type of incident happening with the same service user. There's also a long standing history of him trying to gain access to the building to protest his frustrations. My employer told me that what happened to me was unexpected, no one saw it coming and that it couldn't have been prevented. I completely disagree now I know more about what happened the year prior and they failed to implement anything after the first time it happened.

I have felt so bad and guilty since the day I pursued the lawsuit. Feeling like I've been somehow disloyal to a company I work for.

But still at the same time, non of this was my fault and I know I shouldn't feel bad for it. But I'm angry, I'm angry at how much it's disrupted my life, my well-being and my peace. I had fantastic work relationships with everyone, I was a well respected but approachable manager at work and felt I had good relationships with my senior managers too. After every thing thats happened I feel like the trust is gone, the relationships are soured and I don't know if il ever even work for them again.

So Reddit, should I feel bad about sueing my employer?