u/Mysterious-Being-303

I know the title sounds awful, and honestly, I understand why people would immediately think I’m TA.
When I was 16, I got into a relationship with a man who was 22. Looking back, the age difference and the way the relationship developed were extremely unhealthy. He became very controlling. He didn’t want my mum coming to my house, he spent my money, and eventually I felt like I couldn’t really leave because I was financially stuck.
He also sexually assaulted me. There were times when I didn’t consent and he did not care about my feelings or whether I wanted what was happening.
He also cheated on me first.
Eventually, when I was 18, I became involved with someone who had been friends with him. This guy was 40. My ex absolutely idolised him, which makes the situation even more complicated.
My ex eventually walked in on me naked in his friend’s bed. After that, I got into a relationship with the other guy.
My ex wouldn’t leave me alone afterwards. He followed me around and told basically everyone he spoke to what had happened. He also tried to make me pay him money for groceries, despite everything that had happened between us.
I know that sleeping with someone my ex idolised and then dating that person was a pretty brutal thing to do, and I understand why people would judge me for it. I’m not trying to pretend I handled everything perfectly.
At the same time, I feel like the context matters. He had cheated on me, controlled me financially, isolated me from my mum, sexually assaulted me, and continued harassing me after the relationship ended.
So, AITA for sleeping with his friend and then getting into a relationship with him?

Me and my partner booked flights to Bali from New Zealand and we have a 9 hour stopover in Sydney and then a 3 hour on in Melbourne on the way back. I understand I’m granted a visa on arrival but my partner failed to mention the fact that he has a charge for perverting the course of justice and sustained loss of traction causing injury. He was sentenced to 12 months home detention back in 2013. Will he be deported for this charge and not granted the 444 visa. The concern is that we leave on September 10th and the site check system is corrupted and won’t work. I just want to know what visa he might need to apply for, how long that’ll take or if he needs to put the tickets in someone else’s name and I go without him. TIA