i’ve got a toddler (under 2). me and his mom co parent, we’re both involved, and i have him a little over half the time. i work pretty early mornings and some weekends, so childcare has been a big thing for me. i’m pretty strict about not introducing people to my son unless it’s serious. honestly i haven’t even gotten to that point with anyone yet, and he’s not even 2, so i’ve just avoided it because i don’t want people coming in and out of his life.
which is kinda how i got myself into a bit of a pickle here…
i’m starting to fall for someone who was already in his life. i know how that sounds, but it really wasn’t like that. she was around before anything like this was even a thought. she’s a full time nanny and ended up helping me out with my son when i was in a really bad spot and would’ve been screwed without childcare, even though her schedule was already full. this was back when i was scrambling last minute trying to cover a few long shifts and didn’t have many options. she didn’t have to do that, especially for someone she barely knew, but she did.
my son already knows her, she’s around him a lot, and he’s really attached to her. i’ve honestly never seen him take to someone like that, and one of the things i like most about her is how good she is with him. she’s super patient with him and keeps everything really routine and calm, which he responds to a lot.
now i’m kinda stuck. part of me feels like i’m going against my own rule, even though i didn’t introduce her that way, but at the same time it doesn’t feel rushed or messy, it actually feels right, which is what’s confusing me.
i’m not trying to be careless about it. i don’t want to confuse my kid or blur lines too early, and i don’t want to make things weird with co parenting. but it also feels wrong to shut something down just because i’m trying to stick to rules i made before i was actually in this situation.
so i guess i’m wondering if this changes anything. do i need to pull back or set clearer boundaries now that it’s not just a childcare thing, or just leave things as they are and not overthink it?
also, is it weird that i feel kinda guilty about it even though it wasn’t planned?
any other dads been in something like this?