Addiction cost me my dream job
I have been a heavy user for about 3 years. I work for a large retail corporation. Quit my last job making a lot more to work there because I wanted to start a career with them. I intended to work in asset protection from the moment I stepped foot in the store because I have a degree in criminal justice. I’ve been talking with the team lead for the AP for a month now and no one mentioned a drug test.
Yesterday, a fellow associate told me that they do drug test for that position and my team lead confirmed with AP. I’m devastated because I have to tell them tomorrow that I cannot take the job. I will get fired completely if I were to take the test and fail and unfortunately I am just not in a financial situation to lose my job altogether.
I’ve been sober for less than 24 hours. I wanted that job so badly. I sincerely hate my job, my life. I have severe major depression, anxiety, and ADHD (unmedicated). How am I supposed to be sober when happiness hasn’t been a thing for me in years?
I don’t even know how to be happy anymore. I’ve felt like this for 10 years. Someone tell me it’ll be okay because I don’t feel like it ever will be again. Everything feels so heavy currently. I’ve cut off the few friends I had for various reasons, but never tried to make new ones and I’m basically alone. I don’t know how I can do this and I just want to know I’m not fighting a losing battle. I want to stay sober and find happiness, that’s all.