feeling chronically understimulated by most friendships, curious about other's experiences
I'm sensing a pattern of internal frustration building with alot of my friendships, feeling like I'm unmatched in both my intensity of feeling about our shared interests, and my willingness to dive deep into these things. For context, I'm referring to a wide spectrum of topics, from niche special interests to day-to-day sociental happenings, to meta-level conversations about relationships. Regardless of topic, I always feel like I'm the only one truly submerging myself in the topic we're discussing, which leaves me feeling isolated and othered in comparison.
Since I'm operating from a severe lack of knowledge of the neurotypical scripting of these kinds of conversations - or even how "passion" is supposed to be expressed - I''m having a hard time discerning whether or not what I'm experiencing is due to my personal temperament or an expression of neurodiversity. I know it's likely a combination of both of these and many other factors, so I'm not necessarily in search of a comprehensive answer, but I'm wondering if the way I've descibed this particular struggle resonates with anyone here, and how they grapple with it.