struggling with my genetic condition
I’m a 22M , I have a condition called nf1 which affects my appearance considerably. I’m lucky where it’s not too severe but I do suffer from pain as well.
I have never had any form of romance or sexual experience. I struggle with seeing new bumps and lumps forming and growing on my body each day. I have two plexiforms that look very unsightly and are in locations that make them very hard to remove.
I also happen to be very short (5ft5), and a brown man based in nyc. Due to having many lumps and bumps and birthmarks over my body I was made fun of a lot growing up. I hated my body for a very long time and still do.
I have no idea how anyone would be able to find me attractive, I try my best to lead an active social life and engage in my hobbies. ( reading, bouldering , painting and ceramics)
There are days where I feel like I’m going to die without even have held someone’s hand. I can’t see any redeemable trait of mine physically.